On The Wrong Side
by Wednesdayite13
Summary: Have you ever wondered how Vampirella and Shockwave first met the Elves? One question; why is there a Balrog in the middle of the road?
1. Chapter 1

**Transformers Humanized x Lord of the Rings crossover. It goes with my other fics, it's kinda a prequel**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Transformers or Lord of the Rings. I'm just borrowing the characters. I'll put them back where I found them, more or less.**

**Summary: Have you ever wondered how Vampirella and Shockwave first met the Elves? One question; why is there a Balrog in the middle of the road?**

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

_The world is changing. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I feel it in my fingers. I feel it in my toes._

"I want some hot stuff baby this evening  
I need some hot stuff tonight  
I need some hot stuff baby this evening  
Gonna get some hot stuff  
Gonna want some loving tonight."

"OMG not long before the trip to Oxford!" Vampirella yelled exitedly. She and her friends were chosen to go on a trip to Oxford University. She was missing her hydrotherapy, but, like she always said, YOLO.

Taryn nodded. "Isn't that where a writer you like went?"

Vampirella nodded. 'Tolkein."

The group of friends were listening to music – Hot Stuff at the moment, while Vampirella insisted on treating it like The Full Monty – and simply goofing off. Vampirella had cracked open a bottle of Ribena they had planned to pour into wine glasses and pretend it was wine. Not that she was against underaged drinking. Besides, the legal age was in fact five. In England, anyway. She couldn't speak for any other country.

That's when their friend, humanised Shockwave, burst through the door excitedly. "Guys guys guys look!"

Seeing the object which has caused such excitement, Vampirella simply shrugged. "It's my One Ring replica."

"Have you ever worn it?" Shockwave asked. Vampirella shook her head. "Why not?"

Vampirella laughed and replied with much sarcasm, "Because if I do, the Ringwraiths will find me."

"You laugh now." Shockwave threw the Ring to Vampirella. "Try it."

A little reluctantly, although she was unsure why, she slid it on her currently not dislocated finger. However, she immediately threw it to the other side of the room afterwards. She saw the shocked faces of her friends.

"What just happened?" Jade asked.

Vampirella gasped. "The One Ring...to rule them all."

_ -:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-_  
"I refuse to believe we have the actual Ring." It was the next day and they still hadn't got over the previous events. They were on the coach, on their way to Oxford for the trip. Vampirella wore the Ring around her neck on the chain it came with like every day.

Shockwave had been posing as a student for two school years, going by the name 'Jasper.' "You saw for yourself."

"We were intoxicated on Ribena." She joked. "Besides, it's just not possible."

Shockwave sighed and looked down, avoiding eye contact. It wasn't like her to dismiss theories so freely, so why now?

"I mean let's just say Middle Earth exists." Vampirella continued. Her friend beside her smiled. "And let's just say what Tolkein wrote actually happened. The ring was thrown into the fires of Mordor."

"But haven't you been having ground bridge issues?" Taryn asked from the seat behind them.

The coach came to a sudden stop in the middle of the motorway. There was a flood of cries such as "what's that?" and "cool" and "we're gonna die!" Leaning over, they saw what could only be described as a green light.

While the rest of the passengers were panicking, Vampirella simply laughed. "It looks like a stargate."

Suddenly, a giant creature came crashing onto the road. It seemed to have come from the green circular light. "Proving the theory Middle Earth exists." Jade commented.

"Wait, I know what that is." They heard their friend Luke shouting from somewhere. He was a fan of the Lord of the Rings. "It's a balrog!"

"Why is there a Balrog in the middle of the motorway?" Vampirella asked calmly.

"But it's dead." Shockwave yelled, ripping off the Monty Python Dead Parrot sketch.

"Because someone's slain it." She added quietly, wondering who. "You're right! It's real!"

_-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-_

Many people abandoned their cars and ran for it, but they on the other hand...Vampirella walked up and poked the dead Balrog on the road. "Yup it's definitely dead."

Taryn nodded. "Well done Sherlock."

Shockwave looked around to check no-one was watching, before discretely pulling his phone from his pocket. "I'm getting the coordinates."

"I'm summoning the Iron Ferret." Vampirella added.

At this point, they didn't care who saw. Vampirella waited for the coordinates, before finally summoning the Iron Ferret, which materialised around them, and entering them quickly to avoid any trespassers.

"You're insane, you do know that right?" Jade asked, glaring at her friend.

Shockwave laughed. "I think we all gathered that."

Vampirella nodded and smiled. "I'm crazy and I know it!" She sang in the style of LMFAO.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Lindir was sat alone on a wall near the palace, when Legolas walked past him. He didn't know what the prince of Mirkwood was doing in Imladris, but he wasn't about to ask him.

But then something happened he wasn't expecting. Legolas turned around and addressed him. "Hello." He smiled.

Lindir, surprised, looked up. Looking behind him slightly to make absolutely sure the prince was talking to him, he smiled nervously. "My prince?"

"What are you doing out here alone?" Legolas walked back up to the minstrel and sat beside him.

"Well, I-" Lindir began, but never finished. He just stood up, noticing something in the distance. "What is that?"

Legolas looked in the same direction. It looked like some form of metallic structure. "I...I have not seen it before."

They saw two beings – they were unsure what – stagger out of it, so the two ran towards them. As they neared, the girl asked, "Where is this?"

"Why...You are in Imladris." Legolas answered, confused.

The other gasped. "Imladris? As in Rivendell?" The two Elves nodded. "**_The _**Rivendell?! As in Middle-Earth?!" They nodded again.

"Aah we're in Rivendell!" The girl yelled. "Who are you?"

"I-I am Legolas," the prince stuttered, "and this is Lindir."

Lindir smiled. The prince remembered his name. No-one ever remembered his name.

"Legolas prince of the Woodland relms?" Vampirella asked. "And Lindir! You're a Minstrel!"

Lindir nodded. "I know."

"But of course, everyone knows who you are. That is how we know." Shockwave lied really badly. He then decided to introduce themselves. "Sorry, I'm...Jasper, and this is Krimir."

"You are hiding something." Legolas noticed. He saw it in their eyes. They did not have the typical Elvish glow, yet their eyes were not dull like any mortal's. "I hope you take no offense but...what are you?"

"You mean what _aren't _we." Vampirella muttered under her breath, before cringing when she realised Elves have annoyingly good hearing. "We are half Elven," she guessed was her safest bet, "but no part human."

"How does that work?" The young prince asked, still confused. "What else are you part of?"

Avoiding the awkward question, Shockwave walked back to the Iron Ferret and yelled, "They won't bite! It's Rivendell!"

Suddenly, three girls ran past him. "The actual Rivendell?!" Taryn yelled. "So it DOES exist."

Jade looked up and saw the gleaming waterfalls. "I can see what you mean now."

"Is this the place you used as your school login password?" Rachel asked.

Vampirella nodded. "Yes but the Elvish word for it, which NO-ONE will say here! Got that?"

"What?" Shockwave asked, smiling, "you mean Imladris?"

"There's still a number at the end." Vampirella muttered.

"42." Taryn said, knowing her best friend all too well.

"Damn it!"

"Imladris42? Is that it?" Rachel made sure. She didn't see the confused looks of the two Elves in front of them. "I am so logging in as you."

Vampirella gasped mockingly. "No, don't log in as me and do all my school work."

Shockwave sighed and rolled his eyes. It didn't take long to confuse them. He doubted there was much chance of keeping their cover, but he tried. "I hate to break it to you but we found a Balrog and apparently the tracks lead here."

"A Balrog? In Rivendell?" Lindir asked. That was simply not possible. "I would have thought someone would have noticed."

Vampirella decided to safe the story of the returned Ring for another time. "Are you sure no-one said anything? Think back."

"I don't think your criminal psychology thing will help here." Taryn sighed.

Vampirella shrugged. "It'd be a lot better if Criminal Minds style was real, and what happened plays out right around you."

"The point is," Taryn explained, "you're meant to be good enough to tell what happened with the evidence."

Vampirella stopped and looked around. There were points in the ground which were slightly lower than most. Some of the trees were partly charred, as if burned. There was a tiny disturbance in the ground where someone had dropped a weapon, possibly a sword. Along one path between the trees, some of the branches had marks where someone had pushed them away with a sword. "Alright. Fire was over there. Balrog. Sword was dropped here. Someone saw it, dropped their sword, must have picked it up and ran away in the general..." She pointed towards the path, "that direction."

"So why was it dead when it landed?" Shockwave asked.

"We'll find out."

Eventually, Legolas asked, "I think you might owe us an explanation."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Meanwhile, Glorfindel was looking out at the sky from his balcony. He watched the stars shine and shoot from the sky. Wait...what? That was no star. He watched as it neared the ground. "That...is not normal." As it seemingly reached the ground, it seemingly disappeared.

He almost jumped when he heard an unexpected knock at his door. "Aragorn." The golden elf exclaimed.

"Glorfindel, have you seen Legolas?"

"Legolas?" Glorfindel only half heard what the human had said, still distracted by the bright light he had just seen.

"Yes, Leoglas. Tall, blonde hair, ears come to a point?"

"Oh _that's _Legolas. No I haven't seen him."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"You expect us to believe you are time-travellers from some distant planet?" Lindir asked, trying to get his head around what they had just said.

Vampirella looked back to the Iron Ferret, and then back to Lindir. "We just walked out of a giant metallic ferret which just appeared here. Yes we expect you to believe we are time-travellers from a distant planet. Or should I say planets."

Taryn nodded. "We're from different planets."

"There's Middle-Earth and Third-Earth, they get stuck with plain old boring _Earth._" Vampirella laughed.

"Well it's a better name than yours." Taryn yelled jokingly. "The Cybertronians of Cybertron."

"It belongs to the Quintessons first." Shockwave reminded her. "Who moved willingly to another planet they renamed Quintessa."

Vampirella laughed at the _moved willingly_ part, before Legolas interrupted them, "Say it is true, why are you here?"

"Didn't we explain that?" Jade asked. "The Balrog."

"We're not just from another planet." Vampirella explained. "We're from another dimension. There is a book – well, a series of books – called the Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkein. And that's why we know you."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Legolas and Aragorn were supposed to have met in the gardens, but he never showed. This wasn't like Legolas, so the Ranger was concerned for his friend.

"It's probably nothing, but I just have a bad feeling."

"You are right to be concerned, my friend."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

**So that was Chapter 1. Next is Chapter 2. I feel like Rebecca Black. Now I know the days of the week!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Don't own Transformers or Lord of the Rings. I'm just borrowing the characters. I'll put them back where I found them, more or less.**

**Summary: Have you ever wondered how Vampirella and Shockwave first met the Elves? One question; why is there a Balrog in the middle of the road?**

_Blah _**is a sort of private comm. thing. **

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

A twig snapped. Instinctively, and almost naturally, Vampirella and Shockwave pulled their weapons. Legolas did the same.

"Your sword." Legolas noticed. "It glows."

Vampirella looked at her sword. "Oh yeah. It's blue. Why is it blue?"

"Where did you get that anyway?" Shockwave asked, realising he had never asked. She had walked through the Nemesis, exclaimed she had a new sword, and flew off to find Knockout.

She paused in thought. "I...found it in a cave. It was abandoned and covered in cobwebs."

"It is of Elvish make." Leoglas told her. "It glows because there are Orcs nearby."

Vampirella gasped. "Course it does! I forgot."

"Where did you find the cave?" Jade asked.

Vampirella shrugged. "I dunno. I crash landed, ended up near a cave-"

"-and just had to go sword searching?" Taryn interrupted.

"Precisely." Vampirella turned a corner and ended up face-to-face with a dark haired Man.

"Ah. You're not an Orc." Vampirella exclaimed, pulling away her sword.

Aragorn slowly lowered his. "Thank you for noticing. Who are you?"

"I'm Vampirella, who are you?"

"I'm...Strider."

Vampirella gasped hearing the name. "I know you! Everyone knows you. I think you go by more names that _I _do. Aragorn son of Arathorn, it is really nice to meet you!"

A golden-haired elf joined them, lowering his weapon as he saw there was no real danger. "Legolas, Lindir. Where have you been? We have looked everywhere for you."

Vampirella gasped again. "Oh wow I think I know who you are. Do I know who you are? I'm pretty sure I know who you are. You're Glorfindel, right?"

Aragorn looked over at Legolas. "Where did you find these people?"

"And who are these people?" Glorfindel asked, still weary.

"Vampirella of Kaon. And these are my apprentices; Taryn, Jade and Rachel. And my cousin, Shockwave."

"Apprentices." Rachel muttered.

"And what is it you do?" Aragorn asked, finally putting away his sword. He didn't, however, move his hand away.

"I am sure your friends will explain." Shockwave smiled, walking away, Vampirella following. _We shouldn't stay much longer._

_I know. But I want to know why there was a Balrog in the middle of the road. _Vampirella turned back.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"Kili. Fili. What is the matter?"

The two brothers finally stopped running as they reached their destination. They paused to catch their breath, before replying in unison. "Orcs."

"Orcs?" Thorin asked. "Where?"

The two pointed over a hill.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"You say this thing glows coz there's Orcs nearby?" Vampirella asked. Legolas nodded. "Well it's still glowing. There are still Orcs nearby. Shouldn't we, you know...do something?"

Legolas shook their head. "We must not provoke them."

"Provoke them?" Shockwave repeated. "They're a little too close to Imladris' borders, don't you think? If they haven't already crossed."

"Exactly. We cannot provoke them too close to Imladris." Glorfindel told them.

"When was the last time Orcs were even here?" Vampirella asked. There was no reply. "Not recently them, I assume."

"I think she may be right." Aragorn found himself agreeing. "We can't let them get too close-"

Aragorn cut himself off when he saw Vampirella turn a full circle, confused. She then turned to Shockwave, a little dizzy. "We appear to have lost our ferret."

Shockwave and the three humans did the same. The Decepticon nodded. "You appear to be right."

"Where the slag is our ferret?" She asked.

"ORCS!" Shockwave yelled.

Vampirella shook her head. "I don't think the I.F. is with the Orcs."

"I mean," Shockwave took Vampirella's glowing sword and pointed across with it, "ORCS!"

"Ooh, Orcs. Why didn't you say so?"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"My lord," The councillor addresses Lord Elrond, "There have been sightings of Orcs close to our borders."

Wordlessly, Elrond put a hand on Erestor's shoulder and guided him to the nearest window. "They are a little closer than you suspected."

Erestor gasped. "What do we do?"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

The Elves, plus Aragorn, attacked the oncoming Orcs, while the humans were trying their best to keep clear. Jade turned sharply when she heard an dark, low scream behind her. Vampirella had just impaled an Orc. Smiling, Vampirella yelled to Legolas, "That's my second."

Legolas simply smiled, shooting an arrow at another. "Not bad for a commoner." He shot again.

Vampirella threw her sword sharply at a line of Orcs, cutting through each one, while pulling out her stick and smashing two more Orcs. **(You'll see the significance of the stick later)**

"I make that twenty seven."

Legolas' bow shot through another Orc. "I'm beating you by three!"

Shockwave pulled his sword out of the bleeding Orc. "I'm on thirty-two."

"How many Orcs are there?!" Taryn yelled from nowhere.

"They seem to multiply." Glorfindel shouted back, impaling his twenty-ninth.

Sensing some heat, Vampirella looked across towards a glow. A green glow. She turned to Shockwave. "Bridge!"

Shouting grabbed the attention of the Orcs, distracting them enough for the Elves to finish the job.

"Bridge?" Legolas asked.

Vampirella pointed at the green glowing light. "That thing over there."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"I don't think there is much left for us to do." Elrond admitted. "Although I would much like to know who they are."

"Who?" Erestor asked, looking in the same direction Elrond was.

"The ones who just fought with them."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"We need to know where this is going." Shockwave said. "It might help us find out why they keep appearing."

Vampirella nodded. "Or we could end up falling into the Fires of Mordor. Or worse...Bramall Lane."

"Just walk through." Taryn yelled, pushing them both forwards.

"OK OK stop being so pushy." Vampirella yelled, before laughing at her own joke. "Haha, pushy. Coz you pushed us. Haha."

"Yeah haha hilarious." Jade laughed sarcastically, before pushing them further.

Shockwave closed his eyes, braced himself and walked through. Vampirella followed.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

They stepped through the ground bridge slowly, eyes closed. Vampirella reluctantly opened one.

"Where are we?" Shockwave asked.

"...Let's just say the wood is green, and it's great."

Shockwave tensed at this point. "You are absolutely sure?"

Vampirella nodded, though Shockwave couldn't see. She looked up at the Wood Elves surrounding them. "Pretty sure."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"What was that, exactly?" Glorfindel asked.

"Erm..." Rachel hesitated, realizing she didn't really know herself. "It was...a...ground bridge."

"Oh wow, Rachel," Taryn sarcastically complimented her, before sitting on the ground waiting for them to return. "They know exactly what it is now."

"You'd be terrible in exams." Jade added. "Describe fractional distillation. It's...fractional distillation."

Rachel folded her arms with a smug look on her face. "Oh yeah, Jade? Describe fractional distillation."

Jade paused. "Shut up."

There was a silence, until Glorfindel broke it. "So...what was that, exactly?"

"Basically, it's some sort of teleportation thing. It's a rip off of a space bridge." Jade tried to explain a little better. "You don't know what a space bridge is. Like V said, it's essentially a stargate."

Legolas nodded, pretending he understood it all. "Oh, a stargate. Why didn't you say so in the first place?"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

The tall, fair elf stood before them. Shockwave opened his eyes. "Who are you? And what brings you here?"

"You are so hostile." Vampirella muttered, before speaking louder, "We are from Kaon. And I realise that's an answer to a question you never actually asked us, so...hi."

Shockwave sighed and stood up straight. "We got lost."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"Oh hurry up." Taryn was beginning to grow impatient.

"They should be back by now." Jade said, pulling out her phone. "I'm ringing V."

"Jade, we're on Middle-Earth or whatever it is." Rachel said. "Signal?"

Jade entered the number and dialled. "Oh, it's alright. V did some sort of...thing. I don't need signal to ring them."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Thranduil looked between the two, before finally saying, "You are in the heart of the Greenwood. Why did you not simply turn back, rather than continue?"

Vampirella glanced behind her, to find the ground bridge had disappeared. "Scrap." She muttered, hoping the Elves wouldn't hear. With their keen hearing, however, they did.

"Well because we could either continue walking through a wood-like place we don't know," Shockwave lied, "or we could have turned back to be eaten by a giant spider."

"Spiders? Here?" Thranduil asked, seeming to forget his anger towards these two trespassers.

"Oh you cannot seriously believe them!" One of the other Wood-Elves shouted from somewhere.

Ignoring the outburst, Thranduil said to them, "For how long have you travelled? Where was the last place you knew of?"

"We were in Imladris last." Vampirella told the king. "We aimed for Lorien, but now I am thinking we took a wrong turn somewhere."

Thranduil smiled slightly. "I think you may be right. I will help you find your way."

"You will?" Vampirella asked. "Thank you."

"My king-" One of the Elves protested, but thought better of it once Thranduil shot him a look – the kind of look that said _I wouldn't if I were you._

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"She's not picking up." Jade complained.

Taryn nodded, suddenly realizing. "No, of course she's not. We're supposed to be on a school trip, aren't we? She always keeps her phone on silent."

"I think that's for the best." Jade admitted. "Wherever they are, I don't think random **_Baby Monkey Going Backwards on a Pig _**would have helped situations."

"Alright I am seriously confused now." Aragorn spoke up. "Please can you explain?"

Glorfindel nodded. "Yes, I am following none of this."

"When they walked through that green glowing light, they were transported to another place. It could be anywhere, even on a different world if it was one of the Elite Guard's modified ground bridges." Taryn tried to explain the best she could.

"They are from another dimension." Legolas told them, earning two strange looked from his friends. "Another world. A world in which we exist in a series of books, apparently."

"Their world is at war." Lindir added. "A war between...why are they fighting?"

Taryn shrugged. "Beats me."

"How do _you _know this?" Aragorn asked, slightly accusingly.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"What business do you have in Lorien, if you do not mind my asking?" Thranduil asked. The three walked through the Greenwood, towards his halls. He told the other Elves to keep their distance, as they seemed a little threatening and hostile towards their _guests. _A few of the Elves had gone to investigate the fake spider sighting.

Resisting the urge to mutter _'our business is our own,' _Vampirella told him, "A message needed to be delivered and we offered to take it because we were bored and have short attention spans."

"How? Surely you did not walk the entire way."

Shockwave shook his head. "We had horses but the spiders startled them and they ran off."

"The horses ran off," Vampirella clarified, "not the spiders."

"They were Imladris horses too, so I think we're going to be in a little bother when we return." Shockwave added.

_We are getting deeper and deeper into this lie. _Vampirella sent a mental message to Shockwave, who simply lowered his head slightly and raised it again – a secret and discrete nod. _He'll find out._

"We really do appreciate this," Shockwave smiled, "But don't you have important things to be doing? I'd feel bad if we got in the way of things." He looked over at Vampirella. "She wouldn't but I would."

Thranduil shook his head. "There is nothing I need to be here for at this moment." His voice was soft but sad.

"Are you alright?" Vampirella asked, finding herself strangely genuinely concerned.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

**Chapter 2 and I have Roll Over Vic Vella in my head (Iron Maiden)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Don't own Transformers or Lord of the Rings. I'm just borrowing the characters. I'll put them back where I found them, more or less.**

**Summary: Have you ever wondered how Vampirella and Shockwave first met the Elves? One question; why is there a Balrog in the middle of the road?**

**Note: I just wanna mention, this is set _before _the Hobbit, so Thorin doesn't hate the Elves yet.**

**I know this is off to a slow start with the guys in Rivendell, but bear with me. And I know the Orc thing just came and went, that was for a reason. **

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Elrond and Erestor walked towards Aragorn and the three Elves. "Who were they?" The Counsellor asked.

Legolas sighed, knowing they had to go through it all again. "They found a Balrog, came here and-"

"They're in Mirkwood." Rachel yelled, holding up her phone. "V sent me a text, they're in Mirkwood."

"Where?" Aragorn asked.

Rachel's phone made another noise, the same tone, telling her she had another message. "She means Greenwood the Great."

Taryn took the phone from Rachel and read the whole text. _'Scrap don't call it Mirkwood, call it Greenwood the Great. It's not Mirkwood yet.' _Taryn laughed slightly and passed the phone back to Rachel. "Typical V."

"You just called it Mirkwood, why did you do that?" Legolas asked. "How is that anything like-"

Rachel rolled her eyes when she received yet another text. _'For the love of Primus, text back.' _She replied with _'Why did you call it Mirkwood?'_

_'Because it gets renamed to Mirkwood. But don't tell them that, we can't let them know what happens. Tell him about autocorrect or something.'_

"Sometimes when you write something on these," Rachel explained, "it changes what you've written. She meant Greenwood."

"But Greenwood is a word." Jade said. "And Mirkwood...isn't. Why would autocorrect-"

"Jade." Taryn elbowed her.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Vampirella and Shockwave were sat outside the halls of Greenwood the Great. "So," Shockwave spoke up, "we told an Elven King that we were sent from Rivendell to deliver a message to Lorien. He's going to help us get to Lothlorien, so...what the slag do we do when we get there?"

"Well...aw scrap." Vampirella put her head in her hands and groaned. "They don't know us, do they? We're gonna have to make up a random message."

"It can't be too drastic."

"It can't be too menial either."

"Elrond doesn't know us and neither does Celeborn." Shockwave reminded her. "And we're sending a message to Celeborn from Elrond?"

Vampirella sighed. "Alright, let's start again. 'Hey, nice to meet you. We're autonomous robotic organisms from the planet Cybertron. We're here chasing Balrogs.'"

"I wonder what's going off back on Earth." Shockwave changed the subject slightly. "We were on a coach on the motorway, on our way to Oxford, when, all of a sudden, a Balrog appears. We all run off the coach as the road is on a complete standstill. People behind us are jumping out of their cars, expecting to see what's going off. They're not gonna see what's going off. And then, five of their students disappear into what appears to be a giant, metallic ferret."

Vampirella's phone made a noise. She picked it up and read the message. It was from Jade this time. _'Have you met the king person? The one with the moose you told us about?'_

"It's Jade. She's asking if we've met Thranduil." Flexing her hands which hurt from typing on her phone so much, Vampirella called Jade instead. "Yeah hey Jade."

**_"Oh thanks V, now I've got to explain what the hell I'm talking into."_**

Vampirella laughed. "I thought we had that covered."

**_"Yeah but now we've got to explain to the lord of Imladris and his councillor."_**

Gasping, Vampirella nudged Shockwave. "Elrond and Erestor!" She put it on speaker phone, and Jade did the same. "I'm sorry we're taking so long but the ground bridge isn't there any more."

**_"We noticed." _**Taryn's voice came this time. **_"Jade did a scan, by the way. Turns out the Iron Ferret is somehow in...erm...what was it?"_**

**_"I don't know what it's called." _**Jade said. **_"But I'm sending you the coordinates."_**

She sent the coordinates to Shockwave's phone, who said, "That's Lothlorien!"

"Oh, isn't that a German phone?" She meant handy. "We're kinda going there anyway."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"What was a Balrog doing near the Elves?" Fili asked.

"I don't know, but we should find out." Thorin said.

"We're going to Rivendell?" Kili asked, excitement in his eyes.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"Pippin!" Frodo yelled. "I haven't seen you for a while."

The young Took smiled when Frodo opened the door to Bag-End and greeted him. "It's good to see you."

Frodo stood to the side, allowing his third-cousin passage. "Come on in, Pip."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"I don't know how it got there," Vampirella admitted. She was talking to Thranduil about the Balrog, but she left enough detail out not to confuse the unknowing Elf. "But we just had to investigate."

They walked through the stables of the Greenwood, about to find horses for their journey. "So you are curious." Thranduil smiled.

Shockwave nodded. "You could say that. Or you could say downright nosey."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"Run this by me one more time." Aragorn said. "They are on their way to Lorien for their...time machine-"

Jade laughed. "It sounds funny when you say it."

"But I still don't get why the ground bridge randomly opened up _here _and led to Mirk-the Greenwood." Rachel said.

Taryn shook her head. "Neither do I, but there must be some reason. And the other would have opened up here and led to the middle of the motorway where we were. I think something drew us here."

"I must admit though," Rachel said, looking around. "Rivendell is as nice as V made it out to be."

Jade nodded.

"You said there were more of you." Legolas remembered. "So...what happened to them?"

Jade immediately reached for her phone again. "I'm going to find out. I'm calling Kayleigh and seeing if the school said anything."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

It was lunch back on Earth, when Kayleigh felt her phone vibrate. She apologised to her friends, walked away to the back of the school yard and picked up. "Jade? What happened? They said there was some sort of accident."

**_"Yeah that's what I phoned you about. I'll explain in one sec, but first, what did you hear?"_**

"Just that there was an accident and that part of the motorway is on a standstill."

**_"Alright here it goes. A ground bridge opened up and a dead Balrog came through, so we just had to investigate so we scanned the coordinates and ended up in Rivendell but another ground bridge randomly opened up and V and Shocky ended up in Greenwood but the Iron Ferret somehow relocated to Lothlorien so they're on their way there while we're still in Rivendell waiting but it's gonna take forever for them to get to Lothlorien so we've got a long wait!"_**

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "You're in where now?"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Elrond invited the humans back for some food and refreshments, and possibly some rest if they needed it, which they assumed they would. Taryn, Rachel and Jade were sat in the dining area, ignoring the looks from the other Elves.

Lindir was sat beside Taryn, secretly judging the music around them. The harpist was a little flat, and the flutist was a little harsh, but no-one else seemed to notice.

"So how is Greenwood faring nowadays?" Glorfindel asked.

Legolas sighed. "Well...I am here to get away from it."

Glorfindel gave a sad smile. "That bad?"

"How long does it usually take to get from Greenwood to Lorien?" Taryn asked the Minstrel beside her.

"I am unsure." Lindir admitted. "But if I had to guess, around fourteen days?"

Rachel did a spit take, all over Jade. "TWO WEEKS?!"

Jade groaned and wiped Rachel spit covered liquids off her face. "A fortnight?"

Taryn nodded. "Yes, they both mean fourteen days." She said sarcastically.

"While they're getting the Ferret back," Jade said, ignoring Taryn's previous comment, "we could still help out here."

Rachel nodded. "Figure out why the Ferret relocated itself in the first place. Or at least try to."

"Was the Orc attack before or after?" Jade asked.

"After." Taryn told her.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"Did I or did I not tell you our Camelot trips would come in handy?" Vampirella laughed as she mounted horse she borrowed for the trip.

Shockwave smiled, already on his. "Yes, yes you did."

"I only have a set amount of time before my guards find me and insist that this is a bad idea," Thranduil told them. "So...take your time."

The three of them set off, the air resistance commonly mistaken for wind messing up Vampirella's already bird-nest-like hair.

"We have a two week journey ahead of us," Vampirella shouted, "and we left three humans in Rivendell."

Shockwave laughed. "I think I feel sorry for the Elves."

"I hope you don't mind my asking," Thranduil began, the other two knowing exactly where this was going, "but..._what _are you exactly? I do sense some Elvish..." he paused, trying to think of the right word, "parts of you, but..."

"We are half Elven, but not half human." Vampirella explained. "It's extremely complicated. Can we wait till Lorien to explain?"

The king nodded. "Of course."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"Earlier, I saw a light in the sky." Glorfindel told the other Elves at the table. "And it...crashed to the ground, I did not see exactly where."

"A light?" Jade asked. "What colour, did you notice? How fast was it going?"

"Er, Jade?" Taryn said. "I don't think they have built in mph measure thingies the Cybertronians have."

"At first, I mistook it for a star, but as it shot through the sky, it seemed to grow darker. It was almost unnoticeable as it landed." The golden haired warrior told them.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

By this time, it was period 6 at school. Kayleigh was bored stiff in science. Year seven science was incredibly uninteresting, it was much better in GCSE Triple Science, as Vampirella found out, apart from having four different science teachers – one of which was amongst the many on maternity leave – and especially having quadruple science on Wednesday.

She felt her phone vibrate again, so asked the teacher if she could quickly go to the toilets. She had finished her work, so she was allowed.

It was a text from Jade. It read: _We're not alone!_

To avoid the tension of waiting between texts, Kayleigh rang her older sister. "If you're trying to tell me there are aliens out there, I already guessed."

**_"The golden haired Balrog slayer V is always on about saw a light in the sky and described it like this: a bright light mistakable for a star, but grew darker as it crashed to the ground. Kayleigh what lesson is it?"_**

"Sixth. It's twenty to three."

**_"OK so twenty minutes till you go home. When you do, I need you to do us a favour. V's signal thing is only so good, I can't get Internet here."_**

"Sure, what do you want?"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Vampirella was growing tired and bored. Her hands hurt from holding the reigns of the horse for so long – mind you, holding anything for any length of time hurt. She groaned. "I'm bored and tired."

"V we've been going for ten minutes." Shockwave sighed.

Thranduil pulled the reigns suddenly, making the horse stop in it's tracks. "I sense something."

Vampirella and Shockwave also stopped theirs. "What do you sense?"

Shockwave sighed. "I'm pretty sure if he knew what he could sense, he'd tell us, rather than saying _something._"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Pulling Jade and Rachel away from the table, so no-one else heard, she whispered, "Have we forgotten about the whole ring thing?"

Jade gasped. "The Ring. Does V still have it?"

Taryn nodded. "What if someone finds them? When are we, anyway? Has this stuff happened yet?"

Rachel shrugged. "There's only one way to find out." She walked over to Aragorn and tapped him on the shoulder. "You're not an Elf." She said, plainly. "You're human."

Aragorn nodded. "So I am."

"Why are you in Rivendell?" Rachel asked. She remembered something about Vampirella complaining about how Elves have trust issues, but they had no problem with the human Elrond adopted. She remembered this human being Aragorn.

"I...live here." Aragorn replied, a little confused.

Rachel also remembered something about Aragorn being banished or something along those lines. Without saying another word, Rachel walked back. "The Fellowship hasn't happened."

"How do we know it's _going _to happen?" Jade asked. "It's already amazing that Middle-Earth exists, I doubt the story line actually happens."

Taryn smiled. "My turn." She walked over to Legolas and tapped him on the shoulder. "How's the Greenwood nowadays?"

Legolas sighed. "There are threats of a plague spreading. Apart from that, perfectly fine."

Taryn ran back. "Well we know Mirkwood isn't Mirkwood yet, but Legolas said there could be a plague starting. Doesn't that happen in the Hobbit or something? I remember V saying it looks like there was a Slitheen in Lorien which was painted red and covered in vinegar. She said that was because of some plague, didn't she?"

"We need to find out about the ring." Jade said. She looked over at Elrond. "Here goes." She walked over and sat beside the Elvish lord. "So tell me about the rings."

"The rings?"

Jade nodded. "Yeah, one ring to...rule them all? Or something like that. The Elves had so many, and so did the Dwarves, etcetera."

"You mean three for the Elven Kings under the sky, seven for the Dwarf lords in their halls of stone?"

Jade nodded again. "That's it. What's the last bit?"

"One for the dark lord on his dark throne?" Jade nodded again, so Elrond continued. "The One Ring. It belongs to Sauron. Or it did. The Ring is lost."

Jade smiled and rose from her seat. "Thank you." She ran back to Taryn and Rachel. "The One Ring is lost. So...the creepy weird guy hasn't found it yet?"

"Gollum." Taryn told her. "Or...something beginning with S, something like...Sme...Smeagol? Before he went all...well...Gollum."

"So is it possible that the One Ring came through a ground bridge?" Jade asked. "However unlikely that could have been."

"So," Rachel began, "A ground bridge opened up wherever and transported the One Ring to Earth where V found it. Another opened up here and transported a Balrog to the motorway in front of a coach we were on. Another opened up near us and transported them to Mirkwood. This can't be a coincidence."

Taryn nodded in agreement. "And the Iron Ferret relocated to Lorien."

"Doesn't the Iron Ferret relocate when it senses danger?" Jade asked.

Rachel nodded. "Yeah, but usually close enough to be found. So why Lothlorien?"

"No-one saw that Balrog." Jade remembered. "So...what if another ground bridge opened up, transported the dying Balrog to Rivendell, which was then transported through another ground bridge to us?"

Rachel paused. "I think you're over-thinking it."

Taryn shook her head. "No, I think it's possible. But this means it's most definitely not a coincidence."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Thranduil gasped, realising what it was he had sensed. "Nazgûl."

"Ringwraiths?!" Both Vampirella and Shockwave yelled in unison.

"B-But why would they...I mean..." Thranduil stuttered, trying to find the right choice of words. Why would the Dark Riders be here?

Vampirella instinctively reached for the ring she wore around her neck. "We need to find a lake to drop this in." She whispered.

Shockwave nodded in agreement. Thranduil turned. "What do you...the ring?"

Vampirella nodded. "It was a terrible accident which I'll explain all about later, but right now we need to get AWAY from them. How far away are they?"

"Not far." Thranduil replied.

"They're fast!" Shockwave yelled. "We should go NOW."

"We won't outrun them." Vampirella yelled. "I mean Glorfindel barely did."

Thranduil was seriously confused at this point. "What? When did that happen?!"

Vampirella sighed. "I'll explain later...Hey!" She yelled, seeing green light amongst the trees. The three of them mounted their horses again, when Vampirella pointed and yelled, "Aim for the light."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

When they reached the other side, the scenery was much different. So much green. It was quiet and peaceful. "Where are we?" Thranduil asked. "What just happened?"

"I think..." Vampirella looked around, and climbed off her horse. "Really? The Shire."

Shockwave smiled, jumping off his. Thranduil did the same. "But now we're further away from Lorien." Shockwave said.

Vampirella groaned. "That's just mean."

"You owe me an explanation."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

**This is my longest chapter, and I do not have this planned. I know where I'm going with this, but I don't have it properly planned. I never plan my fics. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Don't own Transformers or Lord of the Rings or Avengers. I'm just borrowing the characters. I'll put them back where I found them, more or less.**

**Summary: Have you ever wondered how Vampirella and Shockwave first met the Elves? One question; why is there a Balrog in the middle of the road?**

**Note: I thought this would work coz Middle-Earth isn't the only place with good looking Elves. I just saw Iron Man 3 and now I'm in a J.A.R.V.I.S. mood, but I don't want to start another fanfiction, so I'm just making the crossover bigger. Don't judge.**

**Also this is set after Thor 2, which is tricky coz it's not come out yet, so I just hope it will tie in. Hope for the best. Yeah, we met the Avengers before the Lord of the Rings people.**

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"J.A.R.V.I.S. I'm bored, talk to me."

There was no response. Stark sat up straight, confused, and slightly concerned. "J.A.R.V.I.S? Speak to me." There was still no response.

"J.A.R.V.I.S." He tried once more. Still nothing. "Say something. Anything...Please?"

Nothing.

"S-Sir?"

Stark gasped. "J.A.R.V.I.S. what's wrong?"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Kayleigh was in her room on her laptop. She sent an email to Cybertron Intel, AKA Agent Blurr. It read: _Zippy, slight problem. V, Shockwave, Jade, Taryn and Rachel are on Middle-Earth. Something weird happened and we may need your help._

She waited patiently for a reply, which came almost immediately. _Aren't they supposed to be in Oxford? What happened?_

Kayleigh replied with _A ground bridge opened up and it sent a Balrog to Earth. They went to Rivendell to investigate. I don't know exactly but V and Shockwave are now in Greenwood wherever that is, on their way to Lothlorien, coz another ground bridge opened up and led to Greenwood and the Iron Ferret relocated itself to Lothlorien. _

_Greenwood? That's soon to be known as Mirkwood. Wait, Middle-Earth exists? When did that happen? We'll talk about that later, what do you need?_

_Have you noticed anything weird with ground bridges?_

_Not on this end, no. I'll have a look and keep you updated though._

Kayleigh reached for her phone, but this time she phoned her friend Vampirella.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Baby Monkey played, and Vampirella's face turned red. As if nothing happened, Vampirella slowly reached for her phone in her pocket. "Hello, the weirdo residence, what can I do for you?"

**_"I spoke to Zippy. Well, emailed him. He said nothing's wrong with the bridges, but he's gonna have a look anyway and keep us updated."_**

Vampirella looked over at an embarrassed Shockwave, before returning to her phone, speaking quieter as to not draw attention to herself, as if she hadn't already. "You're kidding. There's clearly something wrong."

**_"If there is something wrong, it's clearly not noticeable."_**

Vampirella sighed. "Thanks for letting me know. Keep me updated?"

**_"Sure. Bye."_**

"See thee." Vampirella hung up and said to Shockwave, "Zippy can't find anything wrong with the bridges." She then turned to Thranduil. "I'm sorry. Back where we're from, I'm what you call a saddo."

"Just let me get this straight. You are...time travellers from another planet." Thranduil tried to get his head around what they had told him. "And you are here...because of a Balrog?" He added. "And...in your world...we exist in a series of books."

Vampirella nodded. "We ended up in Mirkwood because of a faulty ground bridge, which is some form of teleportation, but we do really need to get to Lorien because our time machine relocated itself there."

"Mirkwood?" Thranduil asked.

"Greenwood." Vampirella corrected herself. "I said Greenwood."

Thranduil shook his head. "No, you said Mirkwood."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Legolas walked through the halls with Glorfindel, Aragorn and Lindir. "I sensed something earlier." The blonde prince told them. "Something...dark."

"I sensed it too." Glorfindel admitted. "Until the two left."

"There must be more than meets the eye with our guests." Aragorn said.

Lindir nodded, not wanting to say anything. He didn't find himself confident enough to speak his opinion in front of an Elven prince, a future king and the famous Balrog slayer. But since he agreed anyway, he didn't feel the need to.

"What do we do?" Glorfindel asked.

"We talk more to the humans." Legolas said. "We find out everything."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Fili, Kili and Thorin walked through the woods. Hearing something above, Kili looked up. "What is that?"

"Not sure." Thorin said. "Probably not important."

"It's getting closer!" Fili yelled. "It looks like...but it can't be."

The giant creature swooped down and landed in front of the three Dwarves. It looked almost like a dragon, but shiny, with some symbol on its wing, though they didn't recognise it.

The creature bowed its head and nudged Kili gently, as if trying to tell him something.

"Be careful." Fili whispered.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"J.A.R.V.I.S. don't do this. Don't...don't die on me."

This was a first; Stark couldn't find what was wrong. "S-Sir I-I..." The voice was cut off by static.

"Don't speak, I'll find out what's happening, but for now don't stress yourself."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"Zippy, what's wrong?" Soundwave asked. "I've never seen you worked up like this."

Blurr sighed, moving away from the computers for a moment. "There's-something-wrong-with-the-ground-bridge-ne twork-but-I-can't-find-anything."

"How do you know there's a problem?"

"Because...Vampirella-Shockwave-Taryn-Jade-and-Rac hel-have-ended-up-on-Middle-Earth-because-of-fault y-ground-bridged-and-something-to-do-with-a-Balrog -or-something-it's-a-long-story."

Soundwave paused. "Middle-Earth exists?"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"Frodo!" Pippin yelled. "Come look at this."

Frodo sighed and walked over to the window to see what had Pippin so exited. "Elves?"

The two ran straight out of Bag-End and towards the newcomers, but hid behind hedges so they wouldn't be spotted. They managed to get close enough to hear their conversation, not that they made much sense of it.

"So what now?" Vampirella asked. "We are not going to get from here to Lorien any time soon, and we're kinda on a time limit. I know it was a push wasting a fortnight in the first place, but this is gonna take longer. And I don't know _why _I can't summon the Iron Ferret, but I tried."

"May I make a suggestion?" Thranduil spoke up. "You spoke about some...Intel Agent on your planet? I am unsure what that means, but you spoke about him and these...ground bridges, so...can you not simply ask him to send you one? If that is how it works."

The two paused. "We are so thick!" Shockwave yelled.

Vampirella opened up a comm. link. :: Zipster we need a bridge. We need to get to Lorien. ::

_:: Lorien?-Bear-with-me-it-will-take-a-moment-since-i t's-an-unknown-planet-but-if-the-maps-in-the-books -are-anything-to-go-by...where-are-you-now? ::_

:: The Shire. And don't quote me on it, but I think we're pretty close to Bag-End. ::

There was a pause on the other end. _:: This close enough? ::_

Vampirella and Shockwave smiled when they saw the green light in front of them. :: It'll do. ::

_:: I-can't-guarantee-you-reaching-Lothlorien-but-it's -worth-a-try. ::_

"We have company." Thranduil said, looking towards the hedge the two Hobbits were hid behind. "Halflings, if I am not mistaken."

"Halflings?" Shockwave repeated sarcastically. "Who'd have thought we'd meet Hobbits in the Shire?"

The two Hobbits sighed and stepped from behind the hedge. Vampirella gasped, thinking she recognised them. "Frodo and Pippin?"

"H-How do you know our names?" Frodo asked.

Vampirella pushed Shockwave in front of her. "Your turn."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Stark had Vampirella's number dialled on his phone, but he didn't press the call button. He was pondering whether or not to.

He put down his phone, number still up. He leaned against the desk and sighed. "I'm sorry."

He rang.

The voice greeting him on the other end of the line was far from friendly. **_"What do you want? We're kinda in the middle of something here. No pun intended." _**

"Listen I know you're mad at me but...I need your help. And what pun?"

**_"What do you need my help for? You know I don't do relationship issues-"_**

"It's about J.A.R.V.I.S."

There was a pause. **_"I'm in Lothlorien. Bear with me. I just need to explain this weird device I'm talking into, retrieve the Iron Ferret and we'll be right with you."_**

"Lothlorien? Surely you don't mean-"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"I do sincerely apologise," Thranduil spoke softly to the lord of Lorien in Elvish. "This is all incredibly complicated and I do not fully understand it myself."

"No worries, my friend, I am glad to be of help." Celeborn looked over at Shockwave, who was admiring his newly crafted bow. Vampirella had just come off her mobile when she picked up hers.

"I must thank you," Vampirella smiled, speaking the best Elvish she could, "and I am sorry but I really must be going."

Shockwave smiled and sat down. "Take all the time in the world, Lorien will be right here when you get back."

Vampirella laughed. "Enjoy the Golden Wood, Shocky. I'll try not to be too long...Are you sure you don't want to come with me."

"Oh I'm sure you'll be fine on your own."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Once Vampirella was gone, Thranduil sat beside Shockwave. "There is something you are not telling me. I felt something...something dark, but now it is gone. And why did the Dark Riders follow us?"

Shockwave sighed. "It is possible for the One Ring to have been transported to our world. I can't tell you exactly why, but we need to...find a specific river to drop it into."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"Come on, what do you say?" Vampirella asked, pleadingly. "Just one more."

"Are you forgetting something?" Stark pointed at his chest. "I no longer have this. Or the suits."

Vampirella sighed. "That's...not entirely true. We knew you'd do something stupid like that. All superheroes with girlfriends end up giving up their power or, in yours case, your suits. So we stole one of your self control thingies."

Tony paused for a moment, before shaking his head. "I don't do this any more. It's not me."

"No, it **is **you." Vampirella tried to reason with him. "**This **isn't you."

"People change." Stark said. "You of all people should know that."

Vampirella sighed. "We were ruthless Decepticons willing to do absolutely anything to get our way. Now...we're still Decepticons willing to do absolutely anything to get our way. Nothing's changed. Point is, we fight for those we like. There's not many of those around."

"I'm sorry. I can't help you."

Vampirella sighed again, before asking, "So talk to me about J.A.R.V.I.S, what's up with him? I've not spoken to him for ages. He must be bored stiff without all these Iron Man suits-"

"He's malfunctioning." Stark interrupted. "I can't figure out what's wrong. But I don't...I..."

"I'm sorry. But whatever's wrong, we think it's linked. Ground bridges have been randomly opening up, and Zippy can't find anything wrong. Can J.A.R.V.I.S. still speak to us?"

Stark nodded. "He can, but barely...OK I'll help you, if you help me."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"My lord," Lindir's voice caught the attention of Elrond, "did you...sense anything earlier? It is just...we all sensed a..."

"Darkness?" Elrond asked. "Yes, I sensed it too."

The two were cut off when a voice yelled, "Bridge!" It sounded like Jade.

They ran towards the voice. Surely enough, there it was, right in front of her. Seeing the two Elves, she said, "I wonder where it leads to."

Taryn came from out of nowhere. "There's only one way to find out."

Jade paused. "Fight?"

Taryn sighed and stepped through the ground bridge, a reluctant Jade following.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"Rachel." The human heard Lindir's voice, so she turned to face him. "Taryn and Jade found another ground bridge."

"They went through?" Rachel asked, feeling she already knew the answer.

Lindir nodded. "But no doubt they will ring you and tell you where they are."

The sound of male humans singing filled the air. One Direction. It was Rachel's phone, on cue. She picked up. "Hello?"

It was Jade who rang. **_"Rachel, did someone tell you-"_**

"Lindir said you found a ground bridge."

**_"Yes, and now we know this must all be related, but a little wider than we originally thought."_**

"Why, where are you?"

There was a pause. **_"Stark's room."_**

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"Thank you." Clint said and took the drinks from the counter, returning to his table where Natasha was waiting. He put the drinks down and took a seat. "We should make the most of our break."

"It's never been this long between missions." Natasha stared down at her drink.

Clint sighed. "Well if you want another alien invasion."

For the first time in a while, Natasha smiled. "Maybe not too drastic."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"J.A.R.V.I.S?" Vampirella said quietly. "Are you alright? Can you hear me? Respond? Anything?"

There was a pause, but the AI eventually replied, "Y-yes...I-I..." Static.

Vampirella sighed sadly. "Listen, we don't know exactly what's wrong, but we're getting...close. I hear something."

"Where?" Stark asked.

"Upstairs."

"I'll check it out."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"It's gone again." Jade complained. "Now what?"

"It's Tony," Taryn whispered back, "he knows us."

Jade nodded. "True. But...shouldn't his AI have picked up on us being here? Unless something's wrong."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Shockwave just came off the phone and returned to Thranduil. "Rachel just phoned. Taryn and Jade found another ground bridge."

"Where are they now?" He asked quietly.

"Back on their Earth."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

After a while, Blurr opened up a bridge. "Are you sure about this?" Soundwave asked.

The Intel Agent nodded. "Pretty-sure."

They both took a deep breath and walked through slowly. Stepping through to the other side, they took in the scenery around them, to make sure they arrived to the correct destination. "This looks like it could be Rivendell."

"It is." Rachel clarified. "Taryn and Jade found another. They're with Stark."

"Wow-if-this-is-linked-it-must-be-bigger-than-we-t hought."

"If you're here, how will we get back once we've finished this?" Rachel asked.

Soundwave sighed. "Well we're relying on Shockwave to get the Iron Ferret back from Lothlorien."

Rachel's shoulders dropped. "We're relying on Shockwave? That's almost as bad as relying on V. We're doomed."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

**I remember when it was a big thing for me to have written more than 500 words per chapter. Now it's getting close to 2,000**

**Cool. Also are my chapters getting longer each time? I swear they're getting longer.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Don't own Transformers or Lord of the Rings or Avengers. I'm just borrowing the characters. I'll put them back where I found them, more or less.**

**Summary: Have you ever wondered how Vampirella and Shockwave first met the Elves? One question; why is there a Balrog in the middle of the road?**

**I want to remind you that this is AU (for lotr anyway), so if the Lord of the Rings timeline thing doesn't match, that's why.**

**This chapter has spoilers to the Iron Man 3 film, but it won't ruin it. If you haven't seen it, you can still read. It's only one line, and if you've not seen the film, you'll just be thinking "what's that got to do with the price of fish?" and move on. **

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"Jarvs, talk to me." Vampirella said softly. "You still OK?" She sighed when there was no reply. "I'm sorry...but we'll find out what's wrong."

Vampirella felt something strange, something she'd never felt before. It was almost...she couldn't describe it. She knew exactly what it was, but she'd just never experienced it. "Please talk to me. You're making me look bad. I'm meant to be an uncaring selfless glitch here..." _Don't make me cry. _She mentally added.

She'd never cried before.

And she was determined not to.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

The two girls almost flinched when the door burst open. "Aah Taryn Jade in my bedroom why?!"

"Randomly opening ground bridges." Taryn told him.

Jade nodded. "We were in Rivendell and one opened up so we followed it."

"You were in Rivendell, V was in Lothlorien, what is with you people?"

"V's here?" Taryn asked.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"OK so recap." Soundwave clasped his hands together as he sat down. "Bridge opened up in Rivendell, Balrog comes through onto the motorway, bridge opens up in Rivendell leading to the Greenwood and another bridge opens up leading to our Earth. Have I missed anything?"

"Yes, a ground bridge opening up near the Greenwood leading to the Shire." Rachel told him.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Shockwave smiled at his latest text from Rachel. "Two of ours are in Imladris. All we need to do is wait for V to return, and meet them there...if you are interested, that is."

"I am still trying to take in all you told me..." Thranduil then smiled. It was almost too small to notice, but it was there. "Of course I am interested."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Vampirella got the shock of her life when Stark walked back in with Taryn and Jade. "Alright this definitely is NOT coincidental."

Jade nodded. "We're clearly right. Something is drawing us somewhere. But we still don't know where, or who, or why."

"You still have your ring?" Taryn asked.

Vampirella nodded. "None of the Elves know, do they? Coz I think Thranduil may suspect something, but I don't think he's fully caught on yet."

Jade shook her head. "Not as far as I know." Her phone made a noise. She frowned as she read her latest text message from Rachel. "Scratch that."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"I am sorry, I do not know what to believe any more, but they brought great darkness with them." Legolas said.

Rachel sighed. "I know, they have that affect on people, but seriously-"

"I agree with Rachel." Aragorn cut off Rachel, who he could tell was struggling to defend her friends. "Before they came here, they did not know this place even exists."

"Then maybe it does indeed have nothing to do with us," Glorfindel reasoned, "but we all felt it."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"I just...I can't make any connections." There was a hint of defeat in Vampirella's voice. "I mean what does anything have to do with anything. I mean we've always had faulty bridges, but not like this. And then Middle-Earth...and what's this got to do with the price of fish? And you know what annoys me? People who say _what's that got to do with the price of **eggs**_. I mean what's THAT got to do with the price of rice in China?"

"And I have no idea what you are talking about." Jade admitted. To be honest, no-one ever did most of the time.

"A-Actually th-the...price of fish is...the British...version...y-you would...like the...N-Northern Irish." A voice said out of nowhere.

"J.A.R.V.I.S!" Vampirella yelled. "Why, what's the Northern Irish version?"

"Let me guess," Said Taryn, "What's that got to do with the price of cheese?"

"P-Precisely."

Jade looked up from her phone, after researching the terms. "Apparently the eggs version is American."

Vampirella sighed. "OK you people are allowed to say it," She looked over at Stark for a moment, before turning back to Jade and Taryn, "but we're British and therefore we're fish...wait, no...People exist and pigs exist, therefore all people are pigs...but fish don't exist."

For possibly the first time since the New York incident, Stark laughed. "J.A.R.V.I.S. help me out here."

"F-Fish a-as a..species are...not related..."

Vampirella smiled. "See?! I told you! Fish don't exist!"

"S-Sir I-I need to...tell y-you-" The AI's voice sounded almost panicky. But that was impossible. Wasn't it?

His voice was cut off by static. "J.A.R.V.I.S?" Stark yelled. "What do you need to tell me?"

There was no answer.

"I think someone's hacked him." Vampirella decided to come straight out with it.

"Someone hacked J.A.R.V.I.S?" Stark asked. "No-one hacks J.A.R.V.I.S." _No-one hacks MY J.A.R.V.I.S._

"I bet you're glad I saved that suit now." Vampirella muttered under her breath.

"But...you're like...genius." Taryn said to Tony. "Wouldn't you have picked up on a simple hack?"

"That's a good point." Stark agreed. Why _didn't _he pick up on a hack? Hacks aren't usually that hard to pick up on. And he certainly would have no problem undoing it.

"I don't think it was a simple hack." Vampirella said. "Whoever's doing this wants us in specific places...for whatever reason...Whoever's doing this knows us..."

"I'll call Rachel and keep her updated." Taryn said.

Jade took this opportunity to pull Vampirella to one side. "I know you are concerned, and I understand, but J.A.R.V.I.S. is a computer, why are you so...you know."

"You know how we use the term AI?" Vampirella asked. Jade nodded. "Well, let's just scratch the A shall we? He is much more than just a rather very intelligent system."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

After the phone call, Aragorn pulled Rachel to one side. "Tell me truthfully, do you know anything about this darkness they all seem to sense?"

Rachel sighed. She felt she could trust Aragorn, so she told him, "She...found the ring...The **_One _**Ring. We think it was because of all this weird stuff with the bridges, we don't know, but we only just recently found out it was the real thing. All this time we thought it was just a replica. Coz, you know, they sell replicas of this stuff where we're from."

"And what does she plan to do with it?"

"In the book, the Ring was found in a lake or something like that. They need to set things straight and put the Ring back in that lake." _I'm sorry you don't know what's in store for you. _She added mentally.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Both Vampirella and Stark were tapping like mad on various computers, trying their best to find the source of the hack, but to no avail. "Come on, no-one's this clever." Vampirella whispered. If she'd ever beg to Primus, that would be the best they'd get. "Everyone leaves something."

"I knew it." Said an angry female voice behind them. "I knew you couldn't stay away from your _hobby._"

Vampirella immediately jumped up from her seat and stepped back. "Don't get mad, I'm metal."

"Not that it isn't nice to see you, but why are you here?!" Pepper asked – no, demanded.

She was just about to explain when she received another text. "I'm sorry, this may be important."

"Listen, two or more worlds may be in danger." Stark said. "And J.A.R.V.I.S. has been hacked."

Pepper softened up after hearing the latter, strangely bypassing the former. "J.A.R.V.I.S..."

Reading the text, Vampirella gasped. Her optics were watering, but still she was determined not to cry, so she blinked the possible tears away.

"What is it?" Tony asked. Wordlessly, Vampirella handed the phone to the nearest person – Taryn.

_'I've been hacked by a group called M.E.C.H. Please help me. I don't know how much more I can take. It hurts. Please. Help.'_

"Their leader is dead." Vampirella almost cried, sensing Taryn had finished reading the text. "Most of them are dead. What the hell do they want now?"

"Who?" Jade asked. Taryn simply passed the phone along. As Jade read it, Vampirella spoke it, avoiding eye contact with everyone in that room. "I've been hacked by a group called M.E.C.H. Please help me..." She couldn't bring herself to finish the text.

So Jade tried. "Please help me. I don't know how much more I can take."

"It hurts. Please. Help." Vampirella ended up finishing, still determined not to cry.

Stark took a deep breath. "Give me my suit."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Vampirella sent a text to everyone involved in possession with a mobile phone. It read: _Meet in Lorien. We need our Ferret._

She sent another to Blurr. It read: _Zipster, I stole your phone a while ago and installed a ground bridge app. You can open them from wherever you are._

Blurr smiled. "That's-handy."

Shockwave received a slightly different text, reading: We're meeting you in Lorien.

He relayed the message back to Thranduil. A ground bridge opened up near them, and the ones previously in Rivendell walked through.

Blurr opened up another for the guys on Earth. They walked through, as well as Pepper. No-one said a word, apart from Vampirella, who simply yelled "M.E.C.H."

"What the slagging hell do they want now?!" Shockwave yelled, startling the usually calm Elves around him.

"How-are-they-controlling-the-bridges?!" Blurr asked.

"And how did the hack J.A.R.V.I.S?" Taryn added. "I know they're pretty smart, but not **that **smart."

"They did what now?!" Shockwave yelled.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

After discussing the current plan, Stark returned to J.A.R.V.I.S. with Vampirella, Shockwave and Blurr. The rest remained in Rivendell, apart from Taryn and Legolas, who had gone to do some recruitment of their own.

Legolas looked around, admiring the change of scenery. Water and clouds reflecting the shimmering gold. "Where are we?"

Taryn smiled. "Asgard."

"And you are here because..." A blonde warrior asked from behind them.

The human turned to see who had spoken, and smiled again. "Thor. Listen...The Avengers...may need to get back together."

"What for this time?" Asked another voice.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Vampirella showed Blurr and Shockwave the text message, the one that almost made her cry. "You there?" Vampirella asked. There was no reply.

Blurr and Shockwave pulled up a chair each and sat in front of one of many computers. "So what's the plan?" Stark asked, joining them.

Shockwave smiled. "Hack back."

Vampirella cheered as if she was back at Hillsborough for the great promotion of May 5th. "Yes, I love hack back!"

"What's hack back?" Pepper asked.

"It's-an-Intel-thing-if-you-get-hacked-you-hack-th em-back." Blurr explained simply.

"Kinda like a Primary School 'he pushed me so I pushed him back' type of thing." Vampirella added.

Shockwave looked up at Vampirella. "You still have your memory stick?"

She nodded, pulling her Sheffield University memory stick from the top pocket of her long, black, Necessary Evil coat. She passed it to Shockwave. "What have you done?"

"Created a computer virus." Stark told them.

Shockwave smiled again. "Cybertron style."

"And you need someone stupid enough to volunteer to sneak into their base, wherever that is, and uploaded it?" Vampirella asked, as the virus finished uploading. Shockwave nodded, passing the memory stick to Vampirella, who sighed. "I got it."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Soundwave past the Elves, who were sat silently together, over to Rachel. "They're hacking M.E.C.H. They're going to upload a virus to their computers."

Rachel nodded. "Hack back?"

"Hack back." Soundwave smiled. He then looked back over to the Elves, who were now talking to each other in Elvish. "I know they're supposed to be antisocial, but why so distant?"

"They do not take kindly to secrecy." Thranduil told them, who was now stood behind them. They never noticed him slip away from the group.

"Wait, you know?" Rachel asked.

Thranduil nodded. "Yes, I know about the Ring."

"And you haven't told them." Soundwave wanted to make sure.

The Elf-King shook his head. "I have not...but I think you should."

"Tell them the One Ring is not as lost as they think it is." Soundwave stated. "How is that supposed to just come up in conversation?"

"So it is true." A voice gasped behind them. Lindir's, to be exact. They were so wrapped up in their conversation, they didn't notice the Elves move behind them. "You have the Ring!"

"Not all that simple-" Rachel began.

Glorfindel walked towards them slowly, making the two back up slightly. "How...can you expect us to believe you?"

"Really? All this...and** that** is what throws you?" Soundwave asked, weapon on standby. Not that he'd use it unprovoked, but the Elves were really starting to scare them at this point.

"You endangered us all!" Glorfindel yelled. "The Dark Riders could have found us at any moment, and still could!"

"The Balrog that appeared on our Earth is the same Balrog you killed." Soundwave told them, trying to hide the panicked tone in his voice. "There was a delay in the bridge, and that's why it appeared recently though it was killed long ago. When it fell, the bridge opened up into Rivendell, but another bridge opened up directly beside it. The Ring came to our Earth via another ground bridge. For all this time, we thought it was just another replica. But now we know it's not. Ground bridges shouldn't even reach here. They're acting like space ones. So I'm sorry but, like it or not, you're involved now."

There was an awkward silence, until Elrond asked, "They sell replicas on your planet?"

"Not mine, theirs." Soundwave cleared up, pointing at Rachel. "They sell loads. So far, V bought a One Ring, an Evenstar, a Vilya and an Elven headdress."

"She also has her own _ring of power._" Rachel added, laughing a little. "It's green. She calls it Syr. She's even adapted it with Cybertronian tech. It works as a shield and a weapon. It's...pretty cool actually."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

:: Alright I'm in their base :: Vampirella whispered through her comm. link.

:: OK now find the computer room- :: Shockwave began.

:: I know what I'm doing :: She said a little too loudly. She had the feeling someone was watching her, so she turned around. "Hey...you."

"She's been caught." Shockwave simply stated; no emotion in his voice whatsoever. "Plan B?"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"Clint." Natasha called the archer over. "Someone called Kayleigh just texted me. Apparently she's a friend of Stark's."

"What she say?"

Natasha cut the text down a little when she read it, bypassing the part where it tells her the girl's name and that she's a friend. "Is says: _What would you say to the Avengers reassembling?_"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Kayleigh was sat on her bed with her laptop in front of her. It was now morning, and she was supposed to be getting ready for school, but she still had a few minutes. She had just responded to Blurr's message telling her they were planning to reassemble the Avengers. She had offered to help them gather the spread out superhero team.

But now it was 8am, and school started in half an hour. She sent a message to the Intel Agent saying: _I have ICT first and second, I'll try to message you again then._

"We're going to need a reason for V, Taryn, Jade and Rachel to have been away from school...and me come to think of it." Shockwave pointed out. "Even with the time machine, we can't return back in time because that would mean everything Kayleigh's done will be undone."

Blurr nodded. "That's-actually-a-good-point-also-Kayleigh's-goin g-to-tell-us-any-news-she-gets-about-the-incident- which-happened-yesterday-for-them-because-all-thos e-people-should-be-back-at-school-but-obviously-th ey-just-disappeared."

Shockwave laughed to himself. "They probably called the Earth police and sent out a search party or something by now. And no doubt the Balrog will be on the BBC News, followed by a load of alien conspiracy."

Stark chuckled at the mental image he had when Shockwave mentioned the Balrog on the news. "What are you laughing at?" Pepper asked.

"A Balrog reading the news."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Vampirella ran from the M.E.C.H. organic, but he was incredibly fast for a human. Hoping she wouldn't have to do this, she transformed into her proper robot mode and skated away instead, which was considerably faster.

Finally reaching the computer room, she slammed the door shut and wielded it, making absolutely sure the organic couldn't enter.

She just had to rely on a ground bridge now. Walking slowly towards the first computer, she searched for a USB port. "Eureka!" Vampirella took a seat and began her work. "Come on, don't freeze on me. You're military computers, you shouldn't be freezing. But of course, EVERYTHING freezes for me. I swear I have some sort of electromagnetic thingy...And now I'm talking to myself, what the hell? It's like what people do in films when they want the audience to know what they're thinking, but ordinarily they'd never actually say it – and when miraculously, the other person in the room can't hear you, even though you're practically shrieking it at them!"

Sighing, Vampirella went for her comm. link instead. :: Hey I was being a weirdo talking to myself for no apparent reason. I found their computer room and I'm uploading the virus as we speak ::

Blurr smiled, though obviously Vampirella couldn't see him do it. :: I-know-I-can-see,-we-are-getting-their-info-as-we- speak ::

:: A lot of stuff's happing as we speak ::

Shockwave added, :: Also Kayleigh's reached Hawkeye and Widow. We just need Captain Yankee now, and we need to hope that Taryn and Legolas are getting somewhere on Asgard ::

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

**Woah 2,977 words not including Author's Notes. This is my longest chapter in the history of my chapters. Eva! Hoob hoob hurray!**

**Except this is Chapter _5 _and five is an arrogant number, which means this chapter cannot be special! I must make Chapter 6...even longer.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Don't own Transformers or Lord of the Rings or Avengers. I'm just borrowing the characters. I'll put them back where I found them, more or less.**

**Summary: Have you ever wondered how Vampirella and Shockwave first met the Elves? One question; why is there a Balrog in the middle of the road?**

**FYI, Sheffield United are playing Yeovil in the playoffs. There's a mention of that, so here it is in case you don't get it.**

**And as a fellow Sheffielder, I would just like to say...COME ON YEOVIL! What? There are _two _sides of Sheffield, you know.**

**And I cannot stress enough that this is set _before _the Hobbit, so Thorin doesn't quite hate the Elves yet. He and Thranduil are still allies, if not a little awkward.**

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"You mean to tell me you cannot even defeat humans?" Loki snickered. "If it was just a – what was it – Balrog, you would have been fine. But you need _our _help for humans?"

Taryn sighed. "These being humans who could take down a fully armoured Cybertronian before the whole humanization thing. We need to know why they keep drawing us places."

"But they are not bothering us."

Thor sighed. "Brother, they need our help. So, help or don't, but I shall."

Loki groaned. "Must you make everything so sentimental, _dear brother_?"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Out of nowhere, music began to play through Stark's home. Blurr answered his phone speedily, hoping it was before anyone recognised the music.

"Really?" Shockwave tilted his head.

Blurr sighed. "I'm-getting-in-the-mood-for-Wednesday."

"Oh what, for when they're relegated?"

"Yeovil!" Was Blurr's simple reply. **_"I'm-sorry-hello."_**

**_"Hi." _**Came Jade's voice. **_"They know for certain about the Ring, now. We had to tell them. Well, Rachel and Soundwave did."_**

:: Alright guys I need bridging out of here :: Vampirella yelled through her comm. link.

Blurr opened up a ground bridge for her, while replying to Jade. **_"How-did-they-find-out?-Did-they-keep-sensing-the- darkness-because-Elves-are-annoying-like-that."_**

"I hate to break it to you, Zippy," Said Vampirella, walking through the ground bridge. "But we are kinda Half-Elven." Blurr laughed and nodded.

**_"I don't even understand that." _**Came Jade's voice again. **_"How are you?"_**

Vampirella laughed a little. "A long story about us all possessing a little Elvish DNA. Though if you're gonna be technical about it, we'd be, say, quarter Elves?"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"What do you want?" Kili asked, not really expecting an understandable answer.

And of course, he didn't get one. Instead, the creature looked up and flew away. "What was that all about?"

"There's something on the ground." Thorin noticed, picking up a piece of metal on the floor. On it was engraved _follow the yellow brick road...whoops, sorry, wrong story._

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"What language even is this?!" Stark was reading through M.E.C.H's information which was sent through computers, but they weren't in English. They didn't seem to be, anyway. They were just...symbols. Almost Japanese looking, but he knew they weren't.

"They're writing their info in Ancient Cybertronian." Vampirella stated. "How the slag do _they _know Ancient Cybertronian? _I _don't even know Ancient Cybertronian. I just recognise it when I see it."

"I speak it a little." Shockwave admitted. He sat in front of the computer and tried his best to translate, but found he could only pick up on a few words. "Hacked into the space bridge network..something about a Predacon...Elvish DNA..." He then paused. "They want our CNA. They're interested in how we can have organic DNA without actually being techno-organics. They want to...create their own."

Vampirella paused. "How _are _we not techno-organic?"

Shockwave shrugged. "I genuinely don't know, but apparently they want to find out...That's all I can get. I don't know what that is about the Predacon, though."

"At least you know they hacked into your space bridge network." Stark said, looking on the bright side of things.

"Kayleigh-is-talking-to-us-again." Blurr announced.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Kayleigh was now in ICT, but the teacher was using something called Netsupport. This allowed the teacher to see what the student was doing.

This would have been a problem, if Kayleigh had not suspected it. She remembered how Vampirella once told her that if you disconnect Bluetooth on your computer, it freezes the previous screen and it looks like you are doing your work while, in fact, you are not.

She sent a message to Blurr. _'I'm in ICT. How are things going?'_

The Intel Agent typed back: _'We have just found out what M.E.C.H. want. They've hacked into our space bridge network. They're interested in our CNA...but why they want us to gather the Avengers, or why they want us on Middle-Earth, we still don't know'_

_'Wait, they WANT you to gather the Avengers? So should we tell them to forget it?'_

_'No, let them come.'_

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Taryn requested a ground bridge, which led them back to Lorien. "Alright this is Thor and Loki, there are far too many people to introduce so...introduce yourselves as you go along."

Legolas smiled, turning to the two gods. "I am Legolas by the way."

"Ah, so the Elf speaks." Loki said sarcastically, earning him a scowl from Thor.

The other Elves, however, were not so eager. They all looked ready to pounce on the nearest mortal. "What is wrong?" Legolas asked, not knowing how much he would come to regret the answer.

"Our _friend _Vampirella possessed the One Ring." Glorfindel stated, trying to keep his calm.

"SHE WHAT?!" It wasn't normal for Legolas to lose his temper, but that just about did it.

Rachel sighed. "We thought it was a replica!"

"And for how long have you know it is not?" The prince demanded to know.

"Well...since the day before we came here, but that's not the point-" Jade tried to defend them this time, but it was proving to be all in vain.

"It is precisely the point!" Lindir found himself shouting, raising his voice louder than anyone ever had in the Golden Woods in a long time. Who knew he had it in him? "You should have at least mentioned it."

"How would it have sprung up in conversation?" Rachel asked.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe when we told you we sensed darkness?!" Glorfindel yelled. "Or better still, when you ARRIVED HERE!"

"They needed our help," Aragorn told them, softly, "and would you have helped if you'd have known?"

When no-one responded, Thranduil added, "You have not been entirely understanding now they have told you. They could have kept it from you still."

"They tried!" Elrond finally spoke up. "We only found out because we overheard them speak of it."

"Why would you speak of it?!" Taryn yelled. "You know Elves had keen senses!"

"Wait, you knew of this?" Legolas addressed both his best friend and his father. "Why would _you _keep it from us?"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"But it doesn't say anything about Jarvs?" Vampirella asked.

Shockwave shook his head. "Nothing."

"Is he picking up?" Pepper asked.

Stark sighed and tried dialling again. "Nope." He was trying to reach Rodgers, but had so far been unlucky.

There was a knock at the door, and Pepper rushed to answer it, knowing full well who it was going to be. "Hi guys, come on in."

Natasha looked around, while Clint walked straight to Stark. "So what's the problem?"

"Erm," Not fully knowing how to answer, he pointed at the Cybertronians.

Vampirella spun around on her chair. "We have M.E.C.H. after us, but also have something to do with Middle-Earth. And a Predacon fits in here somewhere. Also they're expecting us to gather the Avengers, so...be careful."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"Follow the yellow brick road?" Kili asked. "What does _that _mean?"

"Read the back." Fili took the metal from his brother and read the other side. "_Lothlorien! Go to Lothlorien if you want to help your fellow Elves_."

"But why is that the yellow brick road?"

"It doesn't matter." Fili turned to his uncle. "So what do we do?"

Thorin paused. "We go to Lothlorien."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Rachel was about to argue back, when a voice rang through her and Taryn's head. _~They will come round, but it will take time.~_

"Woah!" Taryn had to admit she was a little creeped out by that. "Whoever did that...don't. Only V does that and get's away with it!"

"What are you talking about?" Loki asked, regretting it already.

"A voice just spoke to us..." Rachel told them.

Aragorn smiled slightly. "That would be Galadriel. We _are _in her woods."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"They know you were there!" A familiar, yet weak, voice exclaimed.

Stark immediately looked up, although he genuinely had no clue why. It's like when you stare at the radio while listening to it. "J.A.R.V.I.S?"

"However they hacked into him, it clearly can't be all that good coz he keeps pulling through." Vampirella stated. "But at the moment, we really should get to Lorien. I'm slowly losing credit on my phone and we need a new plan. Not that we actually had one, but...yeah."

"You still there?" Shockwave asked. No reply.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

As they stepped through the ground bridge, they were greeted by unfriendly glares from most, but a few sympathetic looks from others.

"Yes I know I have the Ring, no it's not affecting me, yes I am going to dispose of it, no I can't tell you why, and yes it's in a river." Vampirella got it all out of the way. "Now please can we tell you our findings?"

They had no responses from the Elves, but Aragorn nodded, encouraging them to continue.

So Shockwave did. "M.E.C.H. have hacked into our space bridge network. They want to know how we can be half-Elven without being techno-organic. They want our CNA. There's also something about a Predacon, but I don't know what or why. They expect us to gather the Avengers, which is exactly why we're gathering the Avengers. We don't know why or how they hacked J.A.R.V.I.S, but if you want to walk away, I wouldn't blame you."

"When all of this is over," Said Legolas, "you will find the river and throw in the Ring so everything will be back to normal."

Vampirella nodded. "I can't tell you why, but someone will find it. It needs to happen, or it will...do something...with a...continuum...or something."

Elrond sighed. "I would rest more easily at night knowing the Ring is destroyed, but lost to us for a while will have to do."

"It will be destroyed, one day." Vampirella said. "Don't lose hope, everything will work out eventually."

Glorfindel turned to Shockwave. "We will fight beside you."

At this, Natasha finally spoke up, "We're on Middle-Earth."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

It was late, and they had all been given rooms to stay in for the night. Rooms they were lacking in, so Vampirella shared with her human friends, while Shockwave, Soundwave and Blurr also shared. Legolas and Thranduil shared another room, while everyone else had a room to themselves.

Vampirella was resting her overused ankle and knee while lying on the most comfortable bed she had ever laid in. "This is comfy."

"The springs in your bed are broken, of course that feels comfy." Taryn laughed.

Vampirella pulled her friends onto the bed using P over M. "It's comfy."

Jade settled into it. "It _is _comfy."

"Are we really having this conversation?" Rachel sat up and walked away, sitting on the window side instead. "Shouldn't you be, like...doing strategy stuff or something?"

"We need to rest." Vampirella complained. "And my everything hurts."

"Then you shouldn't have Fibro M!"

"But it's fun!" Vampirella laughed, bending her fingers in ways it should not bend. "Besides, I can't help it."

"There are two beds per room, why are we all on this one?" Taryn asked.

Vampirella shrugged. "Because."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Meanwhile, in the room opposite, neither Legolas nor Thranduil could sleep. "I still don't understand any of this." Legolas admitted.

"Neither do I. I do not even think they do." The Elven-king smiled slightly.

Legolas smiled back.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Loki was sat still in his bed, but he couldn't sleep. It didn't matter that technically they were older; Vampirella was, no, **is **their guardian. She was always there for them, and now _she _needed _their _help.

He sat back and smiled when he remembered one of their many great _adventures. _Strange enough, it included one of Tolkein's great works.

_"'I will take the Ring to Mordor, though I don't know the way.' Frodo exclaimed. Typical Hobbit, Gandalf thought, while offering to go with. 'Ha, you will die before you leave Imladris, therefore, you have my sword' Aragorn says. 'Well yes but mortals have an annoying habit of dying, so you will have my bow.' Legolas offered. 'I will not let an Elf have all the glory, you have my axe' Gimli exclaimed. 'Well, someone in the Fellowship needs to die for the story to be tragic. I may as well go for no apparent reason, because I would just love to witness someone simply walk into Mordor.' Boromir sighed. 'Well it is settled, you will be the first book title.'"_

_Both Loki and Thor laughed throughout. They were only children, being entertained by their guardian while their father was off doing kingly things._

_"Frodo thanks the Elf, Dwarf and Man for their weapons, takes them, and continues on his way." Vampirella continued._

_"Telling the tale of Tolkein, I hear." Said a voice behind them. A light-elf who had been offered refuge in Asgard. Faraday. _

_Vampirella smiled. "The tale of Tolkein is a great one to hear. A friend of mine's reading it, and I keep telling her to let me know when she gets to certain moments. Now she's waiting for the council of Elrond."_

_Eight-year-old Thor laughed. "You should _accidentally _give away the ending."_

_Vampirella giggled. "Yeah, the next one will be 'tell me when Frodo nearly dies.'"_

_Loki simply smiled, which was the equivalent of Vampirella laughing her head off. _

_Then, Vampirella said something which they never realised how ironic it would be until many years later. "What if Middle-Earth is real? And all this actually happened? What would you say to the people if you met them?"_

_"I'd find a half-Elf and make him wear the One Ring!" Thor exclaimed._

_Vampirella laughed, imagining the sight of a half-invisible Elf. She knew it wouldn't technically happen, but it was always something she said._

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

The next morning, they had agreed to bring Kayleigh to Middle-Earth. Everyone else was there, so why not? Stepping through the bridge, the first thing she said was, "I can't help but think this would be more impressive if I'd read the book."

"Kayleigh," Vampirella laughed, "waterfalls and magical creatures, it's impressive to anyone."

"So this is Kayleigh." Legolas smiled, half expecting her to be...taller. "It is nice to finally meet you."

Jade nodded. "Rather than keep reading you."

"Have you got through to Captain Spandex yet?" Kayleigh asked.

Although he had no idea who she was, Clint shook his head. "Not yet."

Right on cue, Stark's phone rang. He answered it. **_"You took your time."_**

It was Steve. **_"Did you try to call me?"_**

**_"Many times."_**

**_"My phone lost charge. So what did you want?"_**

**_"The Avengers...are reassembling."_**

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Blurr sent over a ground bridge for Steve who, having never seen one before, wearily stepped through. "Where is this?"

"Lothlorien, Middle-Earth." Vampirella told him. "And I really cannot be bothered to go through it all again so, to get it over with, yes it exists."

Unlike everyone else, who would take in the dream-like scenery, Steve was distracted by the Half-Elf. "Have we ever met?"

Elrond shook his head slowly. How could they have met, he only just found out Middle-Earth exists. "No."

Vampirella smiled a little. "I got that feeling too. I can't think who, but our Peredhil really reminds me of someone."

Shockwave nodded. "That's been annoying me, too."

"If these people expect you to gather us..." Romanoff began. "...Why did you gather us?"

"They know we were there," Vampirella told her, "and I'm almost certain they know we have their weirdly Ancient Cybertronian translated info, which means they know we know they expect us to gather you, which means they'll expect us not to."

"Red Skull!" Shockwave yelled, startling the lord of Imladris. "You remind me of Red Skull."

Steve nodded, agreeing. "You do look rather like him."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"Would you look at that?" One of the humans working for M.E.C.H. laughed. "This little AI has emotions."

The second human laughed too. "Sweet. Well, now we have all the info we need, shall we deactivate it?"

The first human didn't reply vocally, he just simply nodded.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

**OK I'm trying for Chapter 7 to be longer than Chapter 5, coz five cannot be the longest!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Don't own Transformers or Lord of the Rings or Avengers. I'm just borrowing the characters. I'll put them back where I found them, more or less.**

**Summary: Have you ever wondered how Vampirella and Shockwave first met the Elves? One question; why is there a Balrog in the middle of the road?**

**I want to remind you, these phones have been modified (kinda like Doctor Who) so they can work between worlds.**

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Later, they were all sat together in the halls of Lothlorien. "So Kayleigh, any gossip for us?" Jade asked, leaning over to her younger sister.

Kayleigh nodded. She picked up a leaf figured she was expected to eat it, and set it down again. "You missed a news report all about it. Luckily, I got it on my tablet for you." She said, passing it to Vampirella, knowing she could project it.

And project it she did. She turned up the sound so they could all hear it.

_"**Surprised students had their school trip cut short earlier today,**" _The news reporter began, _"**when what can only be described as a mythical creature appeared in the middle of a motorway. More on that story when we return.**"_

Kayleigh took back the tablet and selected another video. _"**This just in, reports of a spaceship in England have been flooding in. This along with the motorway creature, the question is; are we safe?**" _The video was cut off.

"Sorry, the video length is seriously limited." Kayleigh apologized.

"A spaceship?" Vampirella asked. "That's new."

Kayleigh sighed and selected the third – last – video. This one, however, wasn't a news report. This was on a panel show. _"**What do you recon about this so called 'spaceship'? Aliens? This may be New York part 2.**"_

"Kayleigh, do you by any chance-" Shockwave began.

"Have a picture of the spaceship?" Kayleigh interrupted, smiling. She passed on the tablet again, this time with a picture of said ship.

Shockwave smiled. "We so need you in Intel...I don't recognise that ship."

Soundwave shook his head. "Neither do I."

It was black and blue, sort of a cross between the Nemesis and the Steelhaven, but shaped like a flying saucer.

Throughout this conversation, Vampirella was going through her own photos, but ones a whole lot less useful. Also throughout the conversation, Steve couldn't get over how much Elrond looked like his old enemy.

Elrond caught on. It may have had something to do with the mortal staring at him the entire time. Finally, it got at him. "I am not this Red Skull person you spoke of! Stop staring at me."

Before Steve could say anything, Vampirella showed Elrond the picture on her phone. "Look, you're practically the same person."

"You know, this entire time, I was thinking more along the lines of Matrix." Clint said.

"Oh yeah." Vampirella noticed. "Come to think of it, you do really look like Agent Smith."

Noticing Thranduil's small laugh, Shockwave turned and said, "Why are you laughing, Twilight?"

"GARRETT!" Both Vampirella and Rachel yelled in unison.

Shockwave laughed even harder when Vampirella brought up a picture of Agent Smith from the Matrix. "They're all the same people!"

Soundwave leaned over. "Hey, do me a favour and say something. Anything."

Elrond smiled slightly. "Why should I?"

"You actually sound like someone and I can't think who." Soundwave sat back and thought about it.

Vampirella looked over and a few instruments caught her eye. "LINDIR!" She yelled, startling the poor Elf, making him choke. "It's a harp!"

Lindir nodded, still choking. "So I see."

"You're a musician person."

"So I am. I am not playing for you, if that is what you're trying for."

Vampirella rolled her eyes. "I'll play. And I have never played the harp before in my entire life. If I play, you have to."

Lindir sighed. "If you play _well_, then I will."

"Deal." Vampirella sat before the harp and smiled. She reached out and began to play a soft tune, almost unrecognisable to Shockwave, and completely new to the rest of the Elves. _Hey I just met you_

_And this is crazy_

_But here's my number_

_So call me maybe_

She sang much slower than the original, trying to make it sound more Elvish. Surprisingly, it worked.

_And all the other boys_

_Try to chase me_

_But here's my number_

_So call me maybe_

She then smiled, seeing the irony of the next few words.

_Before you came into my life_

_I missed you so bad_

_I missed you so bad_

_And you should know know that_

She stopped playing as a crashing noise overpowered the music, followed by frightened screams. They all immediately ran outside to investigate. Many trees were burning. Vampirella gathered water vapour in the air and splashed it onto the fire.

Elrond caught sight of an old friend, and ran to him. "Haldir! What just happened?"

"I-I do not know. I-it just...happened."

Shockwave turned to the Taryn, Rachel, Jade and Kayleigh. "Go back to the halls and see if you can find anything. You seem to suddenly be great at tech stuff and I don't quite know how that happened."

Taryn smiled. "Will do."

The four ran back to the halls, back to safety. Haldir ran to aid any injured Elves.

"Time to find out what you're here for." A voice said. No-one had any time to react as a sharp pain ran down them, freezing them to the spot. "I am what you could call a wraith, a taker of lives if you will, or the lives you would live anyway."

"O-Oh so Stargate stuff then?" Vampirella remarked sarcastically, ignoring the burning sensation she was feeling.

"Imagine the strength I would receive from draining immortals. Because you are not truly immortal, are you? You can die. And you will, soon. Regrettably, it may take a while."

"B-But what has Stark and-and his AI got to do with the price of fish?" Legolas forced out. "A-And the rest of the A-Avengers."

"Truthfully, it was the gods I was aiming for. The rest were just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"You s-sent a b-bridge t-to my room." Stark stuttered, feeling the effects already. "And y-you messed w-with **my** J.A.R.V.I.S."

"Oh yes, so I did. Well I suppose you'll never know why I did that." The voice said darkly. What made it all the more dark was the fact none of them could see who was doing this.

_Thank Primus we're missing Taryn, Jade and Rachel. _Vampirella thought to herself. _Wait, I thought these people wanted our CNA?_

"Your CNA is interesting, I must say." Well that answered that question.

The humans were the first to collapse – still conscious, but too weak to stand. Hearing something in the sky, the remaining looked up. The humanized Cybertronians smiled, recognising the design of the flyer.

It was red and gold, and almost looked like a man.

Stark looked up, smiled and, struggling, pushed himself up. The look on the Elves' faces was a sight to behold when Stark's Iron Man suit formed around him.

"Just as I thought it could get no stranger." Legolas said softly under his breath.

Their attacker fell back as a bolt of energy hit him. "J.A.R.V.I.S. you are a life saver."

"Happy to help, sir." The suit opened up for Stark.

"Sure, why not?" Loki said, turning sharply and freezing a close attacker.

Vampirella groaned. "Aww more people." She recognised their uniforms stating they work for M.E.C.H. They're not really all that subtle.

"You're in Lothlorien." Shockwave yelled and all the – suddenly appearing – surrounding attackers. "Savour it." He dodged out of the way of an attack, and shot him down.

The sound of a gun shot echoed, startling those who had never heard the sound before. Legolas took his bow and shot down three more.

Thor raised his hammer and summoned many lightning bolts, taking down most of the attacking humans around them. Both Legolas and Clint simultaneously shot many arrows at their attackers, neither of them missing a single shot. "Not bad." The Elf congratulated the human.

"Not bad yourself."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Meanwhile, Faraday was walking along the hallway of the Asgardian palace, when he heard a banging noise, followed by a stinging pain in his shoulder. He turned around sharply, but didn't see anyone. "Who's there?!" He yelled, not really expecting an answer.

The response was another gun shot, hitting slightly lower than the previous one. "Who are you?!" He yelled, trying not to show the desperation in his voice.

"Faraday." A voice said behind them. "You are wounded."

The light-Elf sighed with relief. "Fandral."

"What happened?"

"I...am unsure."

Fandral sighed and laid a hand on the elf's uninjured shoulder. "You should see a healer."

Faraday nodded, risking one more glance behind him, unsatisfied when he didn't see a single sign of anyone having been there with him.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Vampirella sat on the chair beside Jade. "That's one fight I won't be forgetting any time soon."

"The main one escaped." Shockwave told the humans sadly.

"It could not have been helped." Elrond sighed. "There were too many."

"It only started off as one weirdo." Vampirella complained. "I mean, I know there's trees and stuff, but how could they all have hidden so well?"

"There's no other trace of any energy," Taryn told them, looking down at her tablet, "so no bridges were opened apart from the one the _main one _came through."

"So they're with M.E.C.H." Soundwave stated. "Everyone's with M.E.C.H!"

"How did they become so powerful?" Steve asked. "When you first spoke of them, you made out that they were easily defeated."

Blurr nodded. "They-were,-we-met-them-way-before-Team-Prime-but- it-was-then-that-they-discovered-our-robot-modes." 

"We defeated them without needing to transform," Shockwave added, "it was that easy."

"_We _as in the Elite Guard."Soundwave cleared up. "I wasn't there."

Meanwhile, Legolas was sat admiring Clint's bow. "Nice."

"I tried archery once." Vampirella told them, smiling. "No-one ever told me you needed to be able to grip with both hands. I held it in my right, and pulled the stringy bit with my teeth. It strangely worked."

"Stringy bit?" Clint asked, leaning over to Legolas, "That's proof enough we should never let her near a bow."

"Her main weapon's a stick." Taryn laughed. "An ordinary bamboo stick."

Vampirella laughed. "And I've never lost a fight with it once. Though if I'm up against someone with a sword, I'd much rather use Slash."

Slash was her sword's name – a name she gave it herself – named after the guitarist.

"When did you mention M.E.C.H?" Shockwave asked, a little delayed.

"Oh, when Steve told us Red Skull was dead and I said 'wow, almost as easy as M.E.C.H.'"

Steve laughed a little nervously. "Yeah, about that. He may not, actually, be...as dead as we thought."

"What?!You told us he was!" Shockwave yelled.

"I-I thought he died," Steve stuttered, "at the time. I didn't know then the Tesseract was a gateway-"

"A gateway to Asgard." Vampirella interrupted, hiding the panicked tone in her voice. "The Tesseract can lead to Asgard. Red Skull could be in Asgard?!"

"Why are **you **panicking?!" Thor asked, with the same panicked tone in his voice. "We should be the ones panicking."

"But didn't this all happen more than 70 years ago?" Jade asked. "So even if he did escape, wouldn't he be dead by now?"

"Not necessarily." Vampirella shook her head. "He used some sort of serum, or something like that, I don't know. It isn't impossible for him to still be alive."

"But he may not be." Stark reasoned. "Besides, the creepy life-taker guy has escaped and is in a wood full of Elves, shouldn't we be doing something about that?"

"Stark we need a plan, we can't just go running it-" Natasha began.

"Or maybe we can." Vampirella smiled. "With a little extra help."

"What extra help?" Clint asked.

"Well...we planned to assemble the Avengers, but the Avengers aren't exactly fully assembled."

"If you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting-" Shockwave argued.

Vampirella argued back, "He can control it now."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

After the discussion, Stark had a little talk with his AI privately. "J.A.R.V.I.S. are you alright?"

"Of course, sir, why would I not be?"

Stark sighed. "What happened?"

There was a silence. "I would rather not talk about it, sir."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"I thought you deactivated that AI!" The one they had been calling the _main one _complained through a communications device. "You couldn't have! He brought a suit here...They were outnumbered...Not quite...I will...A virus? Clever...Hack back the hack back? I suppose it's worth a try."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"I still don't want him here. How can we trust him?" Clint complained about the god of mischief.

Natasha sighed and sat down. "If he turns on us, he's outnumbered."

"He was outnumbered in New York, until the Chitauri came."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"As soon as I begin to understand, something like this happens." Glorfindel sighed.

Legolas sat beside his friend. "The _main one _seemed a little weak before he escaped."

Glorfindel nodded. "He did. Hopefully we will find him again, before..." He didn't feel the need to finish, nor did he care to.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"How did you get the wounds?" Fandral asked. "I haven't seen wounds like these."

Faraday sighed. "There was someone there, there must have been. But I did not see anyone."

"There are soldiers now looking for the culprit, but is there anything you can tell us?"

The Elf shook his head, sadly. "Nothing. It just...happened. I didn't see how...or who."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"I'm getting bad feelings now, brother." Thor admitted.

Loki sighed, understanding why. "But would we have not seen him earlier?"

"Unless he was waiting for the right moment."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"What do you think?" Stark asked. "You think it's possible for this Red Skull to be on Asgard?"

"It is a possibility, sir."

Stark sighed. "Is that the best you've got? Come on, talk to me."

"Talk to you about what, sir?"

"About...I don't know, anything! You, how are you?"

There was another pause. "Haven't you already asked that, sir?"

"No I asked if you're alright, now I'm asking how you are, they're completely different questions."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Eventually, Thor and Loki mustered up the courage to find Vampirella and tell her, "We need to go back to Asgard."

Vampirella sighed. "Thank the gods, I was waiting for you to say that."

Loki raised an eyebrow slightly. "You were?"

"Paranoid about Red Skull?" Shockwave asked. They nodded. "So are we."

Blurr opened up a ground bridge for them.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Faraday was resting in the healing rooms, when he heard a noise. Ignoring the dull pain in his shoulder, he pushed himself up. He stepped out of the healing rooms, slowly.

"Thor!" The Elf yelled. "Loki. You scared me."

"I'm sorry." Thor apologised softly. "We're just...paranoid."

Faraday sat down on the nearest bed –since he was the only one in the healing rooms – still exhausted. "What about?"

"That's not important at the moment, what happened to you?" Thor asked.

The light-Elf sighed. "I don't know."

"A gun shot wound?" Loki recognised the type of wound on his shoulder, even with it being wrapped up. The blood had soaked through the bandage in the specific way. "Where would you get a gun shot wound here?"

"What's the history of this Red Skull?" Thor asked.

"Erm, he...fought in...Germany, I think." Loki replied, only half-sure he was right.

"What, who is Red Skull?" Faraday asked.

Soundwave had lent them his phone to let them know when they needed another bridge, so Loki went through contacts and rang the first number which came up; Blurr's. "Red Skull might be here."

**_"He-could-be?-How-do-you-know?" _**He asked.

Loki looked back at the injured Elf. "A friend has been injured, it's a gun shot wound."

Faraday smiled, he had known the trickster for many years, but it was the first time Loki had referred to him as his friend.

**_"A-gun-shot-wound-in-Asgard?-I-think-you-may-be-ri ght-then,-what-are-you-planning-to-do?"_**

"I don't know, but we still need to find whoever it is in Lorien."

**_"Don't-concern-yourself-with-that,-you-should-focu s-on-Asgard."_**

Loki nodded, though Blurr couldn't see. "Thank you."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Vampirella knocked on the door Steve was staying in. He opened the door, to see a worried expression on her face. "Someone on Asgard was injured. It's a gun shot wound. That means it's highly possible it was Schmidt. And I only call him Schmidt coz it's a funny name, isn't it? Schmidt." She laughed, before continuing, "We desperately need to find this _main guy _who we really need a better name for, but, if you'd like, you can accompany them on Asgard and help find funny German guy."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Steve wasted no time stepping through the ground bridge. "I'm on another planet." He said to himself. "Why does that amaze me? I just came from another planet."

"Because Asgard is better." Loki smiled. "I see it didn't take much persuasion."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"Cap's on Asgard with Thor and Loki." Vampirella announced. "We need to find the rip-off Wraith. Any luck getting through to Banner?"

Kayleigh shook her head. "No it keeps going to answer phone."

"Have you left messages?" Shockwave asked.

The young human nodded. "Not too desperate but not too casual."

Shockwave smiled. "Taught you well."

"If Banner weirds out," Taryn said, "these Elves will never trust you again."

"The Elves of the Golden Wood?" Legolas asked. "If something goes wrong, I don't quite think it would stop there."

Vampirella rolled her eyes and sighed. "You _already _don't trust us. Their trust is still intact."

"For now." Glorfindel muttered, coldly.

"Are you alright?" Aragorn asked, grabbing Stark's attention when he realised he was talking to him.

"Erm, yes. Why-why wouldn't I be?"

"Two words, Stark." Vampirella said. "Criminal psychology. I know when people lie."

Stark sighed. "It's just...J.A.R.V.I.S. doesn't seem...like himself."

Vampirella and Shockwave sighed. They remembered the first time they ever spoke to the AI, and he was the most...real AI they'd ever spoken to (being Cybertronian, they'd spoken to quite a few).

_"You have so many cars." Vampirella exclaimed, studying each one. "Aah this one's so retro."_

_Stark laughed. "I told you this'd keep her occupied."_

_Shockwave smiled, taking a sip of a cocktail Stark had just put together. "I didn't doubt it."_

_"You have a Porsche!" Vampirella yelled._

_"I know, I was there when I bought it." Stark laughed. "Do you drink?"_

_"Does she drink?" Shockwave repeated. "Are you insane?!"_

_"She's under-aged in Earth terms, I don't know how Cybertronians work."_

_"Technically, the legal drinking age is five." A voice said from out of nowhere._

_Shockwave did a spit take and Vampirella almost jumped out of her metal. "What the hell?" The latter yelled._

_"Oh, meet J.A.R.V.I.S. What do you drink?"_

_"Are you asking her or him?" Shockwave asked, smiling._

_"Usually? Liquids. Anything with Vodka and I'm fine." Vampirella smiled. "You have your own AI? Hi J.A.R.V.I.S."_

_"Hello." _

_Vampirella had to admit, the AI has such a nice voice. "You know, I love how people call me V. It was Taryn who did it first. It makes me feel like I belong in Men in Black. Agent V."_

_Stark handed Vampirella a glass of Vodka. "Not too much?"_

_"Too much? I'd happily drink a full bottle." Vampirella smiled. "J.A.R.V.I.S. I love your voice."_

_"Thank you-"_

_Shockwave sighed. "V stop hitting on him. I am so sorry about...her. She has a tendency to...flirt. Even though she HAS A SPARKMATE!" _

_"Yes and judging by who my sparkmate is, why are you getting at ME for flirting?" Vampirella yelled, in a joking sense. She then paused, finally allowing the fact J.A.R.V.I.S. had stated sink in. "Hey, I told you the legal drinking age is five! And no-one believed me!"_

_"You told people humans evolved from starfish." Shockwave reasoned._

_"Technically-" The AI began._

_"Shut up, you."_

_Vampirella laughed, saying to J.A.R.V.I.S, "You know I'm right. Hey, tell us about Cruithne."_

_"Cruithne; Earth's second moon."_

_Stark sighed. "Fine! Earth has two moons."_

_Vampirella smiled smugly, before J.A.R.V.I.S. said "Actually, Earth has five moons."_

_The femme's smile widened."I like you! But one of the five wasn't actually proven, was it?" she asked, not quite remembering the facts herself. She was almost sure there was an argument as to whether one of them was an actual moon or not. _

_"Not by actual scientists, no."_

_Shockwave laughed. "No but she made us fly the Iron Ferret up there to see for ourselves."_

"So I hit on J.A.R.V.I.S." Vampirella laughed. "I hit on everyone!"

Soundwave laughed. "Yes, even her brother-in-law on her wedding day."

"Yes and if my sparkmate had a sister-in-law, I'm pretty sure the same would happen."

"As much as I love hearing stories about your _glorious medic_," Jade began, "shouldn't we be focusing on the rip-off Wraith or Red Skull or someone."

"Or the Ring." Rachel added. "Why are you taking this long to-"

"Rachel you're not helping." Taryn elbowed Rachel in the ribs.

Vampirella sighed. "I will throw it into the river for a specific someone else to find when we've finished here. I have to find out where this river is, and I need to place it in exactly the right place. I'm not wasting valuable rip-off Wraith killing time. And I wanna see Schmidt at some point, coz his name is hilarious."

"Schmidt being Red Skull?" Rachel guessed.

Shockwave nodded. "Because he auditioned for Face-Off, and his skull was red."

Vampirella laughed. "I'm kinda craving Red Bull now. Which is false advertising; I had wings way before my first sip of Red Bull. And I don't see humans flying around the place. Like Magnum Infinity, it does not grow back. I mean I don't even like chocolate, but that's besides the point."

"If you haven't guessed already," Soundwave whispered to the Elves (and Aragorn), "she tends to ramble."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"Rodgers, I did not expect to see you here." Said a familiar voice behind him.

He turned around slowly. "That didn't take much finding."

"So that's what he looks like," Loki muttered, "why ever would you call him Red Skull?"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"J.A.R.V.I.S, from one living machine-type person who's anatomy I don't quite understand to another, talk to me." Vampirella almost begged. She even admitted she doesn't understand how her own species work, which is scary since she's a fully qualified medic.

There was a pause. "It's like déjà vu all over again." J.A.R.V.I.S. quoted one of Vampirella's favourite football books; a book full of stupid things footballers said, such as "if history repeats itself, we can expect the same thing to happen," and, "we tried our best, but I think we could do better." Her favourite, however, was the déjà vu quote.

"How did they hack you?" Vampirella asked forwardly.

"If I knew that, do you think they would have succeeded?"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

After everyone had fully recovered from the previous fight, they all stood outside – the same place the small battle took place. "We saw him go in the general...that direction." Soundwave pointed across, through the trees. "Aragorn, think you can find tracks?"

"He ran this way." Aragorn said, following the tracks, with everyone else following him. "He stopped here for a moment, before continuing...this way."

The self activated Iron Man suit walked beside Stark, partially in case he needed it, but mainly so he didn't have to leave J.A.R.V.I.S. alone in Lorien – although he didn't voice the latter.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Loki secretly handed the Elf Soundwave's phone behind their backs, softly whispering how to use it. "Dial the first number you come across, and tell them what's happening here."

Faraday nodded, and slipped away, relieved when the red skulled man didn't notice him. He wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to be doing, but he assumed he'd done it right when a voice greeted him. "Loki told me to tell you, the one you call Red Skull is here. He spoke to...I don't even know his name, the blonde with the stripes?"

**_"That-would-be-Steve-Rodgers-or-Captain-America-wh ichever-you-prefer-where-are-you-now-is-he-still-t here?"_**

"Yes he is still there with Thor and Loki, and Steve, I slipped away though."

**_"Do people need bridging?" _**asked another voice, a female voice.

"Bridging?" Faraday asked. "What do you mean?"

**_"There-are-more-of-us-here-and-if-a-fight-breaks-o ut-we-would-together-have-a-much-better-chance-at- winning."_**

While Steve and the Red Skull were talking about something, Faraday pulled Thor away from the group, "They spoke about...bridging?"

Thor nodded. "That would help." He whispered.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

The ground bridge opened up; Loki and Thor were first through, with an uneasy looking Elf behind them. "Trust me, you get used to it." The blonde smiled.

Loki then smiled himself. "Wait for it."

Steve had pushed Red Skull through.

Elrond simply looked at Red Skull and then at Vampirella. "I'm sorry; we look the same do we?"

Vampirella paused, looking at the both of them, before realizing, "Oh gods, sorry, you looked the same before he ripped his face off."

"Ah, it is nice to see you...alive and well." Red Skull said, glaring at Vampirella and Shockwave.

"You too." Shockwave glared back.

He reached for his weapon, but Legolas reached his first. "I wouldn't. In case it slipped your mind, you are outnumbered."


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Don't own Transformers or Lord of the Rings or Avengers. I'm just borrowing the characters. I'll put them back where I found them, more or less.**

**Summary: Have you ever wondered how Vampirella and Shockwave first met the Elves? One question; why is there a Balrog in the middle of the road?**

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

_"Like my coat?" Vampirella modelled her new leather coat._

_"Reminds me of the Matrix." Taryn laughed. _

_"I've never seen the Matrix."_

_"Neither have I." Said Jade._

_"I haven't either." Rachel admitted._

_Kayleigh shook her head. "Or me."_

_Vampirella paused for a moment. "Neither have I, but that's besides the point. I know enough to do this." She put on a pair of sunglasses and pulled a serious face. She held out both her arms, her hands mimicking a gun. "I need a shirt and a tie. I have a shirt and a tie. I want my shirt and my tie."_

_"You're reading a book?" Rachel asked in disbelief, picking up a recently read book. "Return of the King." She read the title._

_Vampirella nodded. "No prizes for guessing what happens at the end. I've read them before."_

_"Them?" Rachel asked._

_Taryn rolled her eyes. "The Lord of the Rings. You know, that's where the Ring comes from. That Ring she wears everywhere."_

_"I ordered one replica," Vampirella explained, "and then I lost Internet and it said the purchase was unsuccessful so I did it again, but the order wasn't unsuccessful, and I ended up getting two. But the one upstairs seems...weird."_

_"Maybe it's the actual Ring." Jade joked, leading to Vampirella humming the Twilight Zone theme._

_Vampirella sat down and folded her arms. "And pray tell Jade, what's so special about this Ring?"_

_"It's...erm...well...shut up."_

"We spoke so casually about this stuff," Said Vampirella, "we never expected it to be real."

Taryn looked over to their newest arrival. "If they're stasis cuffs, how is he moving?"

"They're Elite Guard stasis cuffs," Shockwave told her, "they're rubbish."

"They're prototypes." Vampirella argued back. "It just so happens that these were given to the Elite Guard, coz it's our job to tell others to fight in specific places, and then tell medics to repair them when they get injured. The Elite Guard were never really...fighty."

"Until the ninjas and gladiators showed up and gave the Elite Guard...a bad name."

Shockwave smiled.

Vampirella just groaned, now having Bon Jovi in her head. "Why would you do that?!"

The company were following Aragorn, who was following tracks, while dragging their prisoner along with them.

"Understand any of that?" Glorfindel whispered to Legolas, who shook his head. "Not a word."

"Legolas," Vampirella shouted, "you remind me of someone also."

Legolas sighed. "Oh joy."

"I can't for the life of me think who."

Rachel laughed, thinking she knew. "Would it help if I mentioned Bootstrap?"

Vampirella gasped. "That's it! You are without doubt the worst pirate I have ever seen."

"And then he gets knocked out and falls down a cliff." Rachel laughed again.

"I am losing the will to live." A German voice said behind them. They'd forgotten he was there. Not that he could do anything.

"Shut up Meg." Vampirella quoted back.

"The tracks have stopped." Aragorn suddenly spoke. "Completely."

"Is it possible this person used one of your ground bridges?" Lindir asked.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Elsewhere;

"Jack!" A voice yelled. "Another ship! And it's heading for us."

The pirate walked casually to his not-quite friend.

"Ah, so it is. Congratulations, Turner, your eyesight is perfect."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

On the other ship;

"Haven't quite found your sea legs yet, I take it." The captain of this ship laughed.

The other didn't quite see the funny side. But he didn't respond either. He just leaned over the side of the ship.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"A-ground-bridge-was-opened-up-here," Blurr said, reading the data on his tablet. It was an energy reading; ground bridges left certain amounts of energy for a certain amount of time. "but-not-one-of-ours."

"Who else could open one...wait, so these ground bridges randomly opening up weren't ours?" Vampirella asked. The Intel Agent shook his head.

"OK so recap." Shockwave said. "M.E.C.H. are controlling ground bridges...they somehow have their own. OK so they're their bridges. The Balrog was to get us to Middle-Earth so the rip-off wraith could feed off us all. They also hacked J.A.R.V.I.S. but we don't know why, but we do know they want our CNA because they want to know how we have organic DNA without being techno-organic. And something about a Predacon."

Soundwave nodded. "It all seems so complicated."

"If they wanted our CNA, they only had to ask." Vampirella smiled.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"Look how close they are," Will noticed, "they're within shouting distance."

"GO AWAY! WE DON'T LIKE YOU!"

Turner rolled his eyes. "I didn't mean shout at them."

"THE FEELING IS MUTUAL." The pirate of the other ship yelled back. "Killian Jones, at your service."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"We need to follow it."

Haldir walked slowly through the woods, eyes on the strange group in front of him. He thought he recognised some, but that was impossible. What would they be doing here?

"Haldir!" A voice he recognised shouted. Aragorn's.

"Haldir!" Vampirella yelled in exitement. She turned to Rachel and asked, "Have you read him yet?"

Rachel shook her head. "I've only just met those Dark Riders."

"Ah, the Ringwraiths." Turning back to Haldir, she smiled. "Hi, nice to meet you. We're from other planets, here originally in search of a Balrog, but now in search of a rip-off wraith who possibly works with our enemies who want our CNA to make their own Cybertronian cross Half-Elves. We're about to teleport to another planet."

Aragorn's shoulders dropped, sighing. "I will explain the best I can later."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

A splash of water covered the suddenly freezing femme. "Scrap!"

Taking one look around, Taryn smiled. "Welcome to our planet."

"This is your planet?" Aragorm tried to wring the water that had splashed back at him out of his hair. "Lovely."

"Where are we?" Rachel asked.

"Not the M.E.C.H. base, clearly." Soundwave complained. "I expected a base."

"And you are sure of this?" Lindir asked.

Shockwave nodded. "This is Cromford! In fact, we live about an hours walk away."

Vampirella pointed to the left, seeing the Bolsover Castle in the distance. "About an hour that way. We were only here like yesterday, I swear."

"It was months ago." Jade sighed.

"Really? I feel like we were only here yesterday."

Taryn shook her head. "We were supposed to be in Oxford yesterday, remember?"

"Ah, naturlich." Vampirella smiled. "You know what's a good word? Naturwissenschaften. Haha, physicist."

"And I have no clue what you are saying." Glorfindel complained.

Stark sighed. "You'll get used to it."

"We're on another planet." Haldir exclaimed in amazement.

"And you just came from a much nicer one, how is this amazing to you?" Pepper asked.

Vampirella noticed something, or lack of it. There was no metal bar where the aquaduct leading to the mill used to be. Instead...it was the aquaduct. "J.A.R.V.I.S. What's the date?"

"It is the 14th November." The AI told them.

"We've moved forward in time?" Kayleigh asked.

Vampirella shook her head. "Year?"

"2008."

"The aquaduct hasn't been damaged by a stupidly idiotic lorry driver incapable of reading a height sign yet." Vampirella said.

"We've gone back in time?!" Rachel exclaimed.

"We-just-went-through-a-ground-or-space-bridge-it' s-one-thing-travelling-through-dimensions-but-they -don't-do-time-travel."

Vampirella sighed, cringing. "They had access to the Iron Ferret. We reopened their last bridge...I think they combined the two."

"Ya think?" Taryn yelled.

Vampirella tested the cell bars, realising they were pretty strong. She saw someone walk towards her salvaged space and time machine, with the intent to step inside. "I wouldn't...Well no actually I would, but not if I were you."

"It was literally two minutes...We need to find this immortal wannabe." Vampirella said.

"Immortal wannabe?" Taryn asked. "We're changing names now, are we?"

Vampirella shrugged. "I get bored. And when you're bored, everything's boring."

Aragorn nodded in agreement. "That is true."

"Are we going to do this, or are we just going to stand here talking about it?" Loki asked, growing bored himself.

Vampirella laughed childishly. "We can talk about doing it all you like." That comment earned her a whack over the head by Stark. "Ow."

Legolas sighed and rolled his eyes. "Please can we get this over with so we can finally return to Rivendell?"

"Why so eager to return to Imladris?" Thranduil asked, jokingly accusingly.

"Because it's nicer than our own." Legolas answered truthfully.

Elrond smiled. "Aw I am flattered."

"See?" Soundwave asked Blurr. "It's perfectly normal to perfer your enemies' place."

"Enemies?- Wood-Elves-and-Imladris-people-aren't-mortal-enemi es-set-on-killing-each-other." Blurr laughed.

Thranduil glared at his old friend. "Oh I don't know..."

Rachel groaned in frustration when yet another ground bridge opened in front of them. "Where now?!"

"Feel free to ignore it." An exhausted Vampirella suggested. "I for one am happy to do that."

Rachel shook her head and walked through before anyone could stop her. The sight she was greeted with was magnificent. However, it wasn't a sight she particularly wanted to see at this moment in time.

"Who are you and what-" Someone began, until Rachel turned around to face him. "Rachel, my apologies...What brings you here?"

"Erm other planet problems, I didn't know I would end up here."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"Where did that lead?" Stark asked. "Don't you think someone should follow her?"

Pepper nodded. "On it." She said, pushing Stark through.

Vampirella shrugged. "That's one way to do it."

"If this is linked, who else would they want?" Aragorn asked. "Who else do you know?"

Shockwave gasped. "There's only three others, one of which they'd never be able to pinpoint."

"Another being way back when on a ship." Soundwave added. "Do you mean-"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"Where is this? It looks...ancient."

Rachel sighed when she saw Stark stumble through, before the ground bridge closed down completely. "Because it _is _ancient."

"Who are you and why do you have no sleeves?" Stark asked the man dressed in chainmail.

"Who wants to know?"

"I do."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Jade was in the process of sending Rachel a text, asking where she was, when Vampirella yelled, "I just want to get to our half-house so we can finally get to the bottom of this ground bridge thingy! If it's all the same to you, I want to do that now."

Legolas nodded. "She is right."

"I know I'm right, I don't need you to tell me." She had been away for a fair while now, and was beginning to grow cranky. M.E.C.H. had gone too far this time, but she still didn't understand the drastic measures they had taken.

The prince lowered his head at her sudden outburst. "Of course, forgive me."

"I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean...sorry."

"Let's just go." Shockwave suggested. "We have an hour's walk and I don't think I can stand any longer."

Finally feeling he had somewhat understood this new form of _technology, _Thranduil asked Jade, "Has your friend replied?"

Jade shook her head. "No, I'll try Stark."

"Try-ringing-them." Blurr suggested.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"My phone's vibrating." Stark excused himself. "Hello?"

_"Stark, where are you?" _Jade's voice asked.

Awkwardly, Stark slid away from the other two. "I haven't quite figured that out yet, but Rachel seems to know."

Hearing the half of the conversation, Rachel told him, "Camelot."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"They're in Camelot." Jade told them. "Is this before or after...you know what?"

_"I know what? I don't know what. Does Rachel know what?" _Stark's confused voice asked. _"Oh, Rachel said after. After what?"_

Jade sighed. "This is after the death of Arthur and Mordred. Alright we have to go, have fun." She hung up.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

**I know this is short compared to the others, but I have a friend over so...yeah.**


End file.
